


honey, make this easy

by sweetums



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Art Dealer Harry, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Bottom Louis, Comeplay, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Harry is 25, Kid Fic, Louis in Makeup, M/M, Masturbation, Past Character Death, Past Harry Styles/Original Male Character(s) - Freeform, Past Louis Tomlinson/Original Male Character(s), Pining, Public Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Riding, Rimming, Rough Sex, Sex Tapes, Sexual Tension, Smoking, Smut, Spanking, Sub Louis, Top Harry, University Student Louis, Younger Louis, a hint of past Zouis, all of their relatives in this are made up btw, but it's harry's niece, louis is 20, nanny louis, there's a sugar daddy element but it's not really what you think, very light daddy kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 04:33:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13826574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetums/pseuds/sweetums
Summary: He knows the site that Jemma used to advertise for a nanny when she was preparing to return to work from maternity leave so he quickly finds it on Google. The loaded page claims to be “your compass in the complex sea of childcare” and Harry thinks, great, since he needs all the guidance he can get.-AU; Harry’s sister recently passed away, leaving him with temporary custody of her daughter. Needing help, he hires Louis as a nanny and the boy turns out to be help in more ways than he expected.





	honey, make this easy

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly didn't want to finish writing this fic because I thought it was too cliche but after I abandoned it, I kept coming back and writing until I was like 10k deep and it seemed wasteful to not go on. So basically something in me was desperate to see this end product so please indulge me and enjoy it. I definitely enjoyed writing it and I actually love the story.
> 
> I've tagged a lot of things and for good reason so read them before you carry on to be safe. Also, I feel very uncomfortable with using the boys' real life relatives in fics, especially the children, so every untagged character in this is 100% fictional.
> 
> Title is from It Will Come Back by Hozier.
> 
> I don't allow translations or reposts of any kind.

The first time Harry brings Lily to his home to live is two days after the funeral. He had spent the last few weeks in Holmes Chapel getting things in order since Jemma passed but as soon as the funeral was over, it all felt final. Time to return to everyday life but this time, without her.

He struggles to hold his sound asleep niece in his arms as he unlocks the front door, illuminated only by the barely lit porch light. Once inside, he gently places her onto the sofa then pauses as the first real problem he encounters is already happening. His car is loaded to the brim with essentials like her clothes, toys and bedding that he needs to bring in. Meanwhile, Lily is clearly asleep and God, Harry just can’t bear the thought of leaving her fragile, tiny self in the house alone while he walks the two meters or so outside to grab the stuff. What if she goes wandering off, finding dangerous things like knives in the kitchen? What if an intruder sneaks in and hurts her? What if she wakes up without Harry around and thinks that she’s lost him too?

Harry pinches the bridge of his nose in despair and, honestly, to stop himself from crying.

He can’t do this. He’s been at it for literally five minutes and it’s already proving to be too much. And he only blames himself because looking at Lily, softly snuffling, he’s ridden with guilt. All he has to do is get his shit together and be the responsible uncle that she needs right now. It won’t even be for that long. Yes, he was put down as Jemma’s next of kin, but he doesn’t think anybody actually thought he’d be here having to be Lily’s primary carer. Of course it was only right that his mum and stepdad strongly suggested that they should be the ones to take her in and Harry had readily agreed. The complex process of reassigning the title and rights of Lily’s carer was only worsened by the reappearance of her father who suddenly thought it was appropriate to come back into her life and demand custody. Solicitors on all sides are working the case rigorously but for the time being, Lily has to live with Harry; that was that.

To say the magnitude of the situation hasn’t dawned on Harry yet is a lie. His emotions and wellbeing have been hit and drained and hollowed ever since Jemma was diagnosed. But there is a difference between expecting something and actually living it.

He sinks down onto an armchair and breathes deeply. There’s very little chance that he can provide for Lily in the way she actually deserves but he can sure as hell keep her safe, healthy and away from anymore trauma as that capacity, he’s sure, has been breached immensely already for a one year old.

As Harry attempts to organise his running thoughts, he remembers the note he made on his phone, listing everything that must be done. He thought about this very moment a few days ago while laying in bed and forced himself to write out some sort of plan so that future him wouldn’t be completely lost. Being that that is exactly how he’s feeling now, he’s grateful for his past self. Sliding his phone out of his back pocket, he looks on the notes app and locates the list.

  * _Buy suitable food (lots of veg, milk, yoghurt)_
  * _Set up the guest room for Lily_
  * _Unpack her things_
  * _Find a nursery_
  * _Find a nanny_



It’s Thursday night and Harry absolutely has to be back at work on Monday. That’s barely any time. He’s actually already sorted the nursery out because he knew that having a place for Lily to go when he’s working was the priority. But he needs to find a suitable nanny that can accommodate the days and times of the nursery as well as his own work hours. Deciding that’s important enough to focus on for the moment, Harry grabs his laptop from the coffee table and powers it up. He knows the site that Jemma used to advertise for a nanny when she was preparing to return to work from maternity leave so he quickly finds it on Google. The loaded page claims to be “your compass in the complex sea of childcare” and Harry thinks, great, since he needs all the guidance he can get. After clicking around the site for a bit, he’s prompted to write out his ad.

**Nanny Needed**  
**Must be available between 3pm to 6pm on weekdays and 8:30am to 6pm on Wednesdays. Position will require taking care of an 18 month old girl and starts on Monday. Must be trustworthy and good with children. Experience preferable but not necessary. Please call number below to enquire for more details and set up a meeting.**

Harry enters other requirements such as his contact details and location. Once satisfied with the information he’ll be putting out, he posts the ad. Now that’s sorted, he still needs to figure out the pressing issue of bringing Lily’s things in from the car while she’s still asleep.

-

On Saturday afternoon, Harry is assembling a bed for Lily in the spare room while she naps in his bed. He had felt awful letting her sleep on a fold out bed the nights before as he hadn’t had the chance to put her furniture together. All of a sudden, he hears his doorbell ring and silently curses when he glances at his watch. That must be the nanny coming in for a meeting. He had completely forgotten and he’s still dressed in joggers and a black vest top he’d normally only put on for the gym. It’s far too late to change now so he sighs as he puts down the tools, grabs the baby monitor and makes his way to answer the front door, sweat still clinging to his casual wear.

With everything that’s going on, he’s already made up his mind that this meeting is a formality. He spoke with the candidate over the phone, him being the first person to reply to his ad, and he had seemed perfectly capable to do the job. Harry is so sure that Lily will only be with him for a little while and sees no point in drawing out the process. Unless this nanny turns out to be a complete disaster in person, he’s happy for this meeting to be a quick one and to hire his nanny this very day, all ready for Monday as planned.

When Harry gently swings open the door, the first thing that hits him is the subtle scent of rain, alerting him that it’s spitting lightly outside. He should’ve known really; this time of year is witness to winter seeping slowly into spring and the English air is scarcely without rain. The second thing he notices is the small boy on his doorstep, fringe and eyelashes slightly damp from the drizzle. The feathery hair frames a sharp face, accented by high cheekbones and pink lips. Flickering his sight downwards, he sees that the boy is dressed in loose black jeans and a grey jumper that overflows on his petite frame yet crops just above the heightened waistline of the jeans.

“Mr Styles? I’m Louis, Louis Tomlinson. We spoke on the phone; I’m here for a meeting about the nanny job you’ve put an ad out for.” Louis speaks out, voice high yet heavy like thick honey. His Yorkshire accent comes through prominently to Harry after years of living in London.

“Right. Come on in.” Harry widens the opening and lets Louis slip past him and into his house.

“We’ll speak in the living room.” Harry gestures for Louis to follow him and, once inside the room, to seat himself on the sofa while Harry sits down on the armchair facing it. “Thank you for meeting me on short notice, I appreciate it.”

“No worries, I’m actually glad I might be able start so soon. I’ve been looking for a job for a while since the coffee shop I used to work in during first year shut down all of a sudden.” Louis replies, bringing a hand half engulfed in a sweater paw to adjust his fringe.

“Well, we’ve spoken about most of the technical details on the phone so I’m assuming that the hours and pay are all okay with you?” Harry asks.

“Yes, yeah I’m okay with that. My lectures are mostly in the morning with a few in the early afternoon but I should be fine judging by the way my schedule’s been going so far in the school year. I’ve never really left uni after two o’clock. And Wednesdays, I don’t have any lectures or seminars. I might have to bring some work over to do but it won’t cause a distraction.” Louis informs him.

“We touched on it a bit but can you tell me about your experience with childcare?”

“My mum was a midwife and some of her shifts left me looking after my six younger siblings growing up. While I was in college, my courses were really flexible so I was a nanny for two years to the same family. They had two little boys, one seven and the other was four. Their number is on my CV if you need a reference.” Louis answers, handing a plastic folder over to Harry.

“I’ll be sure to get that.” Harry takes the folder from Louis’ hand. “Just to go over the job again, for the most part I need you to pick Lily up from nursery at three then bring her back here. She needs to have her lunch then take an afternoon nap for about an hour. When she wakes up, she’s usually happy playing with her toys or watching TV but you need to be watching over her at all times. If the weather is good, you can take her to the park nearby but anywhere else, I really don’t want you to take her without asking me. I’m usually home at six and that’s when you leave. She doesn’t have nursery on Wednesdays so I need you here from eight thirty to six. You’ll need to give her breakfast, lunch and snacks on those days. I’ll give you a list of things she should be eating. I’ll try my best not to, but some days I might work late or on a weekend so you need to be okay with that but obviously I’ll let you know if it happens.”

Louis nods along in understanding.

“Do you have any questions for me?” Harry adds.

“Yeah, actually, you mentioned in the ad that the job is temporary so how long would I be here for?” Louis asks.

“That’s actually undecided right now.” Harry tells him truthfully, mood souring at the reminder of the custody battle he’s involved in. “But don’t worry, I’ll try to let you know in advance so you can look for another job.”

“If you could, that’d be useful. I was starting to struggle a bit after losing my other job without any notice.” Louis admits.

“Well, I’ll do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen again.” Harry knows that in reality, he has no idea how long Lily will be with him. But he’s paying Louis quite generously so he should be fine.

“So, what’s Lily like?” Louis smiles.

“She’s great.” Harry’s heart actually pangs with how wonderful his niece is. The only problem is that he knows the other reason for the pang is how sad she makes him these days. “You can meet her now if you’d like.”

“I’d love to.” Louis says enthusiastically.

“Okay, she’s probably just waking up from her nap. I’ll go fetch her.” Harry offers a tight smile then moves to get up the stairs and bring Lily down.

He gently nudges her awake once he’s entered his bedroom and watches her sleepy eyes blink up at him. She’s such a good kid, she starts to smile at him rather than get cranky like normal children do when woken up. Harry kisses her cheek then lifts her to carry back to the living room.

“This is Lily.” Harry places her on the sofa next to Louis. “And Lily, this is Louis.”

“Hi, love.” Louis’ face softens and his eyes completely light up. “Did you have a nice nap, bub?”

Louis gives Harry an asking look and gets a nod in response before he picks Lily up and places her on his lap.

“You’re a little sweetheart, aren’t you?” He coos, lightly tickling her neck. In return, Lily squirms and giggles, leaning her body into Louis’. “Look at you, does Lily likes getting tickles?”

Lily just carries on laughing and staring adoringly at Louis’ teasing face. Harry sits back down on his armchair, realising that his niece won’t be needing him for the moment.

“She seems to be comfortable with you.” Harry comments.

“Is she usually good with strangers?” Louis asks, playing with Lily’s teensy fingers.

“It depends. She’s a really good kid, doesn’t throw tantrums or anything. But she’s got, um, her mum’s tough personality in her. I can tell when she’s uncomfortable meeting someone, as if she doesn’t trust the person.” Harry discloses.

“I can tell she’s a little trooper.” Louis says, looking up and making eye contact with Harry, sincerity clear.

“That she is.” Harry responds softly.

Louis then starts to giggle lightly as Lily makes grabby hands at his chin and neck, feather light strokes tickling at his tanned skin.

“If there’s nothing else, I’d like for you to start this job on Monday.” Harry decides.

“Really?” Louis grins at him. “That’s so great, thank you so much.”

Lily must sense the excitement as she begins squirming around happily.

“You’re welcome.” Harry replies, subconsciously transfixed by the small glint in Louis’ blue eyes and the crinkles fanning out from them. “I do hope this works out.”

-

When Monday comes, Harry dreads walking back into an office that he hasn’t been in for almost three weeks. He trusts that Liam has taken care of everything and he had incessantly called while he was away. Having said that, the anxiety that comes with having to abandon so many half finished deals and partly filed paperwork persists.

“Carl called.” Liam says, walking alongside him so that they end up entering Harry’s office together.

“Son of a bitch probably got the company’s number online. He knows there’s no use calling my actual phone.” Harry grits his teeth.

“He didn’t sound happy.” Liam relays.

“Probably because he spoke to his solicitor who spoke to our solicitor a couple of days ago. He really thought he could just drop by, pick Lily up then leave with her without a fight.” Harry scrubs a hand through his face, slumping down onto his chair.

“Should we just block calls from him?” Liam asks.

“Yeah, do that. I shouldn’t be in direct contact with him anyway.”

“I’ll let Cam know.” Liam reassures, referring to Harry’s assistant. He then sits down across from Harry to give him that knowing, ‘friend-not-colleague’ look. “How’re you doing, Harry?”

“I’m fine, Liam.” Harry answers plainly.

“You got help? Because I can always come by if you need me to. Or I can get Sophie to. Whatever you need, man.” Liam offers.

“I hired a nanny.” Harry sighs. “Thanks, though. You and your new wife really shouldn’t worry about me.”

“A nanny? Is she any good?” Liam wonders curiously.

“It’s a ‘he’ and yeah, he’s good enough.” Harry replies.

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Liam says. “It’s nice having you back. And I hope you feel better soon, I really do.”

“I’m sure I’ll live.” Harry dismisses the concerns. “How’s the Jameson deal going? We need him to sign off on that dissected thunder painting by the end of the week.”

“We’re close. He’s definitely gonna sign but I really think you need to give him a push.” Liam kindly accepts Harry’s not so subtle topic change. “Give him a call or get Cam to set up a lunch. You know the only reason he trusts us is because of you.”

“I’ll ring him.” Harry says, already picking up the phone on his desk and shooting Liam a curt smile as the man exits his office.

-

“Cam, can you just let Liam know I’m on my way.” Harry speaks into his phone. “I’m running a bit late but I’ll be there. Tell him to chat with everyone for like ten minutes, I will honestly not miss anything important in the meeting.”

As he hangs up, he can hear his doorbell ring.

“Louis, what time is this?” Harry opens the front door to a panting Louis.

“I’m so sorry; the bus was late. I’m sorry.” He apologises profusely as he steps inside.

“And why are you not using your key?” Harry continues.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to since I assumed you’d still be here on Wednesday mornings.” Louis replies.

“Well next time just use the key.” Harry grabs his own keys from the hallway table and moves to leave. “I’m not happy about the tardiness. I’ve got to go, though. I think Lily’s awake in her room so please go check on her and give her cereal and a banana for breakfast.”

Harry barely hears Louis start to apologise again before he’s shutting the door and rushing over to his car in the driveway.

-

Harry knows that he’s not who he used to be. He’s fully aware that he became progressively snappy and dismissive when Jemma’s condition deteriorated, only focused on obsessively checking on how she was doing. When she passed, a switch flipped and that heightened irritation wasn’t the problem any longer. Instead, he’s so overcome with a sombre state of being that he would ache if he could get past the numbness. It was like that anger and a tiny bit of hope was all he had going for him after Jemma fell ill and without it, he’s burnt out.

It’s obvious that everybody knows. Since being back at work for a few days, nobody comes by his office for a chat or tells him about their weekend during coffee breaks in the staff room. The worst part is that he’s glad. He doesn’t have the energy to be that charismatic person he once was. Maybe he’s just naive and not used to bad things happening to him or maybe he’s weak. On the grand scheme of things, he knows that losing his sister is a part of life and that he is allowed to mourn but should start thinking about getting himself over it soon. But he doesn’t see it happening. All he thinks about is running on autopilot and staring at blank walls, mind blank. He’s not even sad anymore. He’s tired and dejected.

So when he gets home that evening, his whole body is empty casing. Spending all day discussing art and market trends, reading through relentless contracts and having to talk to other human beings when he’d much prefer sitting in silence has taken its toll. He carefully opens his front door and steadily walks into his kitchen. After sliding a tall glass under the tap, he sits at the table and sips through the cool water. It feels nice slipping down his throat and gliding over the stillness inside him.

About halfway down the frosted glass, he hears someone talking to him from the doorway.

“Mr Styles?” Louis gingerly makes the decision to walk into the room and stand beside the table where Harry is. Why does Louis call him that? Nobody ever calls him that. If Harry had the ability to talk outside the realms of necessity, he would tell him to stop.

“Sorry, I forgot that you’d still be here.” Harry is certain he had only been in the house for about fifteen minutes so hopefully he didn’t stall Louis too much from leaving on time.

“It’s okay. Sort of makes up for this morning, aye?” Louis smiles with a hint of uncertainty.

“Sure, yes.”

“About that,” Louis fidgets with the hem of his stripy t-shirt. “I’m so sorry. Obviously I don’t have a car with being a student and all and I haven’t taken this bus often. The one from my place into town is different. I should’ve taken an earlier one anyway, just in case it was late, I mean I know how buses can be. I’m sorry and I’ll do my best to make sure I’m not late again. And I’m sorry if I made you late.”

“It’s okay.” It’s really not. Harry had to walk into his meeting late and everyone eyed him like hawks. He really could’ve done without the attention.

“Lily was an angel all day.” Louis tells him. That makes Harry soften slightly.

“I’m glad she wasn’t any trouble.” Harry replies.

“None at all.” Louis must notice Harry’s more relaxed demeanour at the mention of his niece. “She ate everything I gave her and spent ages playing with her cuddly toys. I tried to teach her all the animals’ names and she picked up on most of them but I think the easiest one for her was the cat. And she’s so close to remembering my name, I mean, she’s making similar noises to ‘Louis’ so.”

“She’s so smart, definitely like her mum and nothing like me.” Harry comments. Jemma was always the clever one and as much as he was jealous of that as a child, he knows that he was always more proud than anything. If their roles were reversed right now, she’d be doing a much better job that’s for sure.

“Maybe she got her creative side from you.” Louis offers.

“Maybe.” Harry isn’t even that creative. He doesn’t make the art, he just deals it.

“Definitely got her dimples from you.” Harry looks up at Louis’ face and the younger boy’s lips turn upwards underneath the mirth in his eyes.

“I should go.” Louis says next, eyes still boldly looking at Harry’s. This must be how he is, cheeky, quick and likeable. Harry gets the feeling that he suppressed it at the start, probably still keeping it in check now, but he won’t apologise for it just because Harry is cold company.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you.” Harry nods.

“You’re welcome, Mr Styles.” Harry hears the sympathy in that and it sounds nice coming from Louis. It feels warm and careful. He thinks that Louis is probably the type of person who is brash day to day but deeply sensitive when he needs to be. Accepting sympathy from him isn’t hard to swallow like it normally is with others. “Have a good night.”

Louis smiles as he leaves the room and Harry considers smiling back.

-

The next month or so passes and Harry crawls along with time. Work is as stressful as ever, made unbearable by the fact that he’s unable to travel because of Lily. Usually, he’d be jetting off all over the place to meet with artists and clients but nowadays, Liam has taken over a big chunk of those trips. It only worked out because Liam never used to travel as much, preferring to handle business in London and ensure he’s around attentively for Sophie, which means that he doesn’t have to balance the acquired trips with his own. In a way, they’ve swapped jobs. Harry doesn’t mind it considering how he’s really not up for even leaving his house let alone the country but there’s a reason why he used to be the one to negotiate and source the art; being stationary behind a desk is dull.

At least it’s something for him to do each day, though. The rest of his time is spent with Lily. He tries his best, he really does, to be upbeat around her and humour her when she wants to play. When she was born, he used to visit Jemma all the time with abundances of presents for her, spending hours entertaining her with his cheesy antics as a smitten uncle. He wonders if she’s confused as to where that guy went.

His social life has taken a hit for sure. He used to go out often, whether it be for business or pleasure. At twenty-five, he’s conformed to a character that enjoys living well and letting loose almost every weekend. Liam has been hassling him about merely going around for dinner but Harry is not up for it. His mum calls but he has a feeling that she’s grieving heavily herself on top of being knee deep in this custody case. His ex texted him the other day and Harry almost wants to laugh, not knowing if he genuinely wanted to show his condolences or whether he wanted back into Harry’s bed. And that’s a morbid thought.

He sees Louis quite a bit, the younger now incorporated firmly into his daily routine. He does everything that he’s supposed to and he does them fairly well. There are still issues with lateness at times and he tends to leave the house messy when he’s been playing excitable games with Lily. He also can’t cook very well, scorching the bottom of one of Harry’s pans when he was asked to make Lily an omelette for lunch one day. Harry scolds him for all his mistakes but he just tells Cam to make sure his schedule doesn’t start early on Wednesdays, picks up the toys to put back in the cupboard and makes Lily’s meals the night before to be heated up.  
He doesn’t mind, not really. Lily adores Louis so much, always squealing with happiness when he arrives. She also draws him as little stick figures when Harry lets her get out crayons or paint to amuse herself with. It’s nothing too bad but she’s always quite sombre when he leaves for the night, pouting slightly and watching cartoons quietly until dinner. Harry would be concerned but he knows children are bound to form attachments and Lily is still favourable to him. She’s lovely and constantly speaks to him with the very limited amount of words that she knows and if anyone can draw out a smile, it’s her.

Louis also tries to engage with Harry. He always tells Harry about his day with Lily from what she ate all the way to any new words he’s noticed her saying. He lets slip little bits about himself too, like a tough section of coursework he’s writing or how happy he was that a jacket he wanted was on sale. There are attempts at asking Harry about his life but Harry doesn’t give him much; Louis just shrugs the curtness off. One day, he told Harry that his flatmate wasn’t very in favour of his new haircut and Harry automatically responded that it looks nice. Louis had beamed at him and worn a triumphant look as he realised he managed to get something out of Harry resembling a human rather than a robot.

Today is Friday and Harry is arriving home from work. He makes his way to the kitchen where Lily runs to him and hugs his legs tightly before running back to her spot at the table to carry on colouring. Harry greets her back and watches her briefly as she concentrates on a piece of paper holding the image of a smiling flower.

Then he notices Louis for the first time, standing in front of the sink and wetting kitchen roll to then wipe his eyelids with. Curiously, Harry frowns then walks over to stand nearer.

“Hi, Louis. What, er, what are you doing?”

“Oh, hey.” Louis shoots him a quick smile. “Um, I uh, I forgot that this, sort of, friend of mine was picking me up today. He doesn’t like me wearing makeup so.”

He’s clearly talking about a date. And makeup? Harry hasn’t ever realised that Louis wears makeup.

“I normally only wear it when I go out. But my lecture got cancelled this morning so I had a bit of free time and fancied some eyeshadow.” Louis says, trying to decipher Harry’s expression. Now that Harry looks, he can see the shimmering champagne pink dusted across the eyelid that Louis has yet to wipe. The way it dances under the kitchen light and softly sits on the baby blue of Louis’ eye is…different. Good different. “Anyway, I just forgot that Warren hates that sort of thing. He’ll be here any minute.”

Harry’s frown only deepens. This Warren must be both blind and horribly controlling.

“Was everything okay with Lily?” Harry watches almost sadly as Louis moves over to wipe at his other eye, only leaving behind the faintest hint of sparkle.

“Good as gold. Like always.” Louis grins. His phone then buzzes in his pocket so he hastily pulls it out to check the screen. “My lift is here. I’ll see you on Monday.”

Louis then moves to grab his coat and backpack, wave goodbye to Lily and rush to exit the front door. Before he leaves, Harry decides to speak up.

“Seems like a lot of effort, taking off what you like to please a friend.”

Louis stills, face towards the door he was pulling open. Harry sees his cheeks move up slightly from this angle before the younger boy turns to face him with a small smile.

“It’s fine, Mr Styles. You don’t have to worry.” His voice is airy, like he’s trying to pacify an unnecessarily fretful elderly. “Besides, he’s not really a friend.”

Harry is left to look on as he patters away into the dark.

-

After what felt like years of coaxing, Liam finally manages to get Harry to agree to a dinner. The week is winding down and Harry is admittedly sick to death of Liam pestering him. Plus he feels bad. Liam and him are very different people, their dynamic hard to understand. Where Liam is almost rigidly steady with his moves and hopelessly kind, Harry is fuelled by the determination in his passion and the good in him comes from a peaceful place. Simplified, those traits are quite similar but on the surface they don’t appear to be perfectly compatible. Harry’s point is that Liam has been by his side for years now. That man knows him like a brother and it’s not easy to push him away.

So Harry tells Liam that he’ll drive his car behind him after work and spend the evening with him and Sophie.

The meal is fine. The couple are good enough company, both sweet and tentative to probably any guests. They talk about work for a bit and Harry forces himself to ask Sophie how her modelling career is going. Liam seems to like that, taking the opportunity to gush about his wife. It’s good to see him happy but Harry, as always, would rather be alone.

“So Harry, what happened to that guy you were seeing? What was his name? The personal trainer.” Sophie turns to him after Liam rambled on for half an hour about Sophie’s photoshoot for some M&S catalogue.

“Will.” Harry supplies. “We broke up a long time ago.”

“That’s a shame, I thought you guys were good together.” she says sympathetically. She probably means they looked good together. That was always what people said about them. Looking good together unfortunately doesn’t come in handy when his sister was terminally ill.

“I don’t know what to tell you; it didn’t work out.” Harry shrugs, considering if he should go for the last bread roll.

“So are you seeing anyone else now?” Sophie presses on.

“No.” Harry responds.

“You know Harry,” Liam chuckles a bit awkwardly at Harry’s shortness. “I’m sure he’s plenty alright with finding dates.”

“No, of course.” Sophie frowns. God, Harry knows what’s coming. “Listen, babe, you don’t have to go through all this alone. Tons of people I know are in therapy, I can get you a number to call. My friend from aerobics class says her guy really helped with all the stress she went through after her promotion.”

Liam cringes and Harry decides against the bread roll.

“I bet he did.” Harry wipes at his mouth with a paper napkin. “It’s late, I feel like I should check on Lily. Thank you, really, for having me round.”

He makes a move to get up from his chair.

“You sure, sweetie? There’s cheesecake for dessert.” Sophie tells him. Harry hates cheesecake. Why is cream cheese on soggy biscuit a pleasant combination for people?

“No, no, please, you’ve been too good to me already.” Harry insists.

“Alright, mate. Thanks for coming over.” Liam smiles at him.

“Yeah, I uh, I’m sorry it took me so long.” Harry smiles back. “You guys have your cheesecake, honestly, I’ll let myself out.”

Before they can protest and lock him in an unyielding politeness battle, he quickly heads for the front door.

Harry drives home with irritation buzzing under his skin. In all honesty, he doesn’t think that Sophie and Liam said anything wrong. It’s just talking to people in general these days. It’s always so bloody hard to endure. All the pity, desperate displays of sympathy and impatience towards Harry’s lack of warmth makes for exhausting conversations. He’s sick to death of it all. Some peace would be greatly welcomed.

When he finally reaches his house, he steps out of his car to walk indoors. Where the first thing he wanted to do was breathe and remove his restrictive suit, in reality, he found himself tripping over a large stuffed bear lying in the doorway. Glancing around, his house has apparently become quite the tip with toys strewn about everywhere. Harry firmly deposits his key on the side table then marches into the living room with his free hand clenched. Once there, he sees Louis on his knees adjusting buttons on the baby monitor.

Harry coughs.

“Oh, hi. You’re home early.” Louis whips his head around to greet Harry.

“What’s with all the mess?” Harry questions.

“Sorry about that. Lily and I were playing a game earlier, guess we got a bit carried away.” Louis replies, surveying his surroundings and biting his lip guiltily upon discovering the mess.

“Louis, this is unacceptable.” Harry grits. Deep down he knows it’s really nothing but his mood is yet to lighten since the dinner and seeing his home so dishevelled when all he wanted was a relaxed night has actually worsened it. “When I get home, I expect everything to be in order. If you make a mess, you should clear it up.”

“I will, I’m so sorry.” Louis apologises, standing up to start picking toys from the ground.

Harry rolls his eyes.

“It’s a bit late now. I’m home and to be honest, I’d rather you left.” Harry knows he’s being unreasonable but he can’t deal with company right now. “And this isn’t the first time. You have a bad habit of not tidying up after yourself. It’s part of your job here, Louis. Or have you forgotten that? I’m your employer, I don’t appreciate letting so many things slide. You’re a babysitter for God’s sake. It’s really not that hard of a job.”

“Right. M’sorry, Mr Styles.” Louis looks up at him with wide blue eyes, clearly trying to control his voice and body to stay calm. “I’ll do better.”

“Okay, Louis.” Harry sighs.

“I’ll get out of your hair.” With that, Louis leaves the house.  
After hearing the front door shut, Harry feels worse than before. God, he was angry but it was scary anger, like quiet fury. And maybe taking it out on someone is good for him. Logically, it is. But taking it out on Louis is not right. Directing his stupid, unresolved frustration at Louis is wrong, it feels wrong. He doesn’t want to be that guy.

Deciding that the mess can wait, Harry walks up to Lily’s room to check that she’s okay. He peers in through a crack after gently pushing at the door. She’s sound asleep with a side of her chubby cheeks pressed deeply into the purple, fluffed pillow. There’s a stuffed rabbit being clutched close to her chest where her tiny heartbeat pushes at it ever so slightly. Harry ventures into the room, knowing he needs to be close, even just for a second. At the risk of awaking the toddler, he bends to press a small kiss to her forehead. It soothes him.

When Harry is shutting the door behind himself and heading to his own bed, he dwells on the lingering scent he smelt on Lily’s pyjamas. A distinguishable mix of classic floral detergent, tea and sweetness.

-

There’s normalcy for a short while in Harry’s life. He sticks to his routine and he feels lighter. He doesn’t know how one shoots down from a high life then shoots straight back up so he’s not about to do that. It took time to disintegrate into his misery and he’s sure it’ll take time to become happy again.

He’s thinking about going to Scotland to meet a client. It’s not particularly exotic but it’s something. Harry used to thrive on building personal connections with artists and clients, sourcing eclectic seeming art and helping it grow. That was when he was passionate about the art. And God knows, he still is. He still loves art with all his being but he’s held back by the pestering sadness. It stops him from being charismatic and smooth. That was his talent, really, the ability to close deals like a dream. When he read about this artist and saw his work, Harry just knew that the old him would leap into this and hustle until he got exactly what he wanted. For now, he can only bookmark the art and sit on it.

Still, it’s not going anywhere and Harry has hope for when he’s ready to take a bold move, reminiscent of before, it’ll all work out.

Putting away a stray piece of paperwork into its rightful folder, Harry finds himself with nothing to move onto. It’s nearing 5 o’clock in the evening so he’s got over an hour left. He buzzes the intercom, speaking into it for Cam to hear.

“Hey, Cam, do I have anything else to do for today?”

He hears some slight shuffling and tapping of a keyboard.

“No, I don’t think so. We have a new Bourne piece for the gallery coming in tomorrow but there’s nothing you can do for it today.”, she replies.

“Okay, well, I’ll take off then.” Harry concludes.

It might be nice to let Louis go home slightly early.

-

Harry pulls into his driveway not long after and slips out of the car. He goes inside his house and hears the TV on in the living room. If he’s not mistaken, the upbeat music must mean that there’s a fascinating cartoon on and of course, only Lily would have taste for such fine entertainment.

He walks in and sweeps Lily up into a surprise cuddle, leading her to squeal and giggle in delight.

“Hi, babe.” Harry smiles. “You okay?”

Lily starts talking gibberish which is Harry’s favourite thing to listen to. After a bit, though, he remembers Louis and decides to go off and find him so that he can let the boy go.

He sets Lily back down on the sofa with a kiss before wandering into the hallway then the kitchen. From the arched doorway, he sees Louis straining on his tiptoes, t-shirt lifted to show off his little waist, as he attempts to reach a container on a high cabinet. Harry smiles to himself, making his way over to help.

When he reaches Louis, he stands right behind the boy and lifts his arm easily to grab the plastic box. As he does so, he surprises the smaller into a small gasp and a whirl around. The movement starts with a brief rub of his round bum to Harry’s crotch then turns into his delicate hand pushing against Harry’s lapel. The close proximity takes both of them by surprise and Harry freezes, boxing Louis into the kitchen counter, lost in the parting of his lips and the wideness of his blue eyes. In one drawling second, Harry bites down harshly into the flesh of his mouth as he listens to Louis let out the quietest of breaths, slightly wet.

“Mr Styles! You scared me, jeez.” Louis breaks the second with his air-like voice.

“Just thought you needed a hand.” Harry brings the hand still clutching the container out in front of their faces. He watches Louis eye the fingers gripping translucent plastic.

“Thanks.” He grabs the box then ducks out from Harry’s hold. “Why are you home so early?”

“I, uh, finished all my work for the day.” Harry coughs into his fist.

“That must be neat for you.” Louis smiles, placing cut up apples into the container. “But just as a warning, this does mean you’re stuck watching almost the entirety of Frozen because we did just put it on.”

Harry groans. He hates that film.

“Behave, Lily loves it.” Louis laughs, taking the box to the fridge.

“Why?! It’s the worst. The songs are utter rubbish. I’m ashamed that my own flesh and blood would have such poor taste.” Harry argues.

“I think she’s a bit young to care about the technical musicality. As long as there’s a happy beat and pretty colours, she’s set.” Louis turns to face Harry. He crosses his arms, toned biceps bulging, and raises a curved brow towards his feathery fringe.

“If that’s the criteria, we can watch Mama Mia.” Harry deadpans.

“You can.” Louis chuckles fondly, giving in. “Let me get you a drink, you look a bit hot.”

He turns back to the fridge to retrieve a carton of apple juice, pouring it into a glass for Harry.

For some reason, Harry finds himself in a light-hearted conversation with Louis about musicals. They talk as he sips his juice, finding it a lot easier to laugh than he has in a while. The younger seems to know his stuff and has a real love for drama, unsurprisingly.

“Is that what you’re doing then? At uni?” Harry asks. It seems strange to not know what Louis is studying.

“Nope.” Louis replies.

“Oh? So what is it then?”

“Physics.” Louis tells him. “You seem surprised. Do I not look smart enough?”

Harry splutters slightly.

“No, not at all. Just, I wasn’t really expecting Physics. You’re, uh, creative. You seem creative.” Harry stutters.

“M’just teasing.” Louis giggles. “I’ll have you know that Physics requires a bit of imagination here and there.”

“Right, yeah.”

They look at one another for a beat, Louis’ smile so sweet and lovely that Harry has a hard time saying anything more.

“I should go, unless you need me for anything.”

Harry’s mind wanders at that.

“No, you’re free to go.”

-

Later that night, in the shower, Harry sees and feels things. He sees flashes of Louis, his pouty lips, his pink blush, his baby blue eyes widening. He feels Louis’ soft breath against his skin, the tightness of his body so close and the grip of his delicate hands. He hardens as his body is pelted with sprays from the shower head. He doesn’t understand what’s going on.

Turning around, he punches the wall with his fisted hand and closes his eyes to rid himself of the images. But it’s worse with his eyes closed. That’s when his imagination has free rein. Now, he sees Louis on his knees, then bent over, then laying. Harry’s head falls forward to lean against his arm as his breath quickens. As if separate from his control, his hand moves to pump his length. It feels good but it feels better to think about Louis sweetly begging, to imagine his high voice crying in ecstasy and desperation. And it feels amazing to even consider the idea of Louis filled in any way, a focus on his face, the sharp features screwing together beautifully while something, anything enters him.

The actual memory of being pressed against his small body fuels Harry to go faster, yearning for the heat and the charged contact.

When his mind conjures up a single image of Louis’ long, wispy lashes soaked with cum, Harry’s cum, he groans loudly and orgasms into his rough fist.

-

Harry paces back and forth, gently yet agitatedly bouncing Lily in his arms, glaring out of the window and into the driveway. His eyes constantly flicker over to the clock chiming above the fireplace that reminds him of Louis’ lateness. Finally, he sees the boy make an appearance, hurriedly rushing to the front door.

He hears him bustling into the house, muttering curses under his breath. Harry emerges into the hallway.

“I can’t believe you are late. I specifically told you to be here on time.” Harry reprimands, handing Lily over. “You’ve missed the bloody train by now which means you’ve thrown my mum’s schedule and mine. How can you consistently mess up so badly? God, Louis.”

He gathers up Lily’s things, her packed bags of clothes and toys and folded pushchair, as he rants.

“M’sorry, Mr Styles, but I-“ Louis begins.

“Save it.” Harry intervenes. “I’m sick to death of your excuses. Just get in the car.”

Louis’ words die on his tongue and he solemnly walks out to get into Harry’s car with Lily. Harry makes quick work of loading the boot before he himself gets into the driver’s seat, gearing up to drop them off at the station so that Louis can make the trip to Holmes Chapel and allow Harry’s mum to spend the long weekend with her.

The drive is a stew in uncomfortable silence. Harry is fuming, always on the angry spectrum these days anyway, pushed to his breaking point with Louis’ tardiness. It’s an infuriating habit that the boy just can’t seem to shake and today, he really needed to. His mum has had such a difficult time with the custody battle and she deserves a smooth weekend with her grandchild.

“I am sorry, I feel like I need to explain myself.” Louis attempts again, voice soft and Harry can feel his pleading eyes boring into his own that’s focused on the road.

“Just stop. We’re almost there.” Harry clips, turning into the parking lot.

Once the car halts, they both exit and start to unload. Once Louis has everything, Lily included, they’re good to start heading to the platform.

“I’ve texted my mum so she knows you’re taking a later train.” Harry informs him. He then turns his attention to Lily, relaxing himself into a gentler tone as he kisses her forehead. “Be good for your grandma, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon.”

Louis stands there for a moment, clearly biting his tongue, wanting to say more to ease the tension.

“Go, Louis. I have work to get back to. Get yourself together and stop being a scatterbrain for long enough to look after my niece properly.” Harry says, still holding onto the residue of his earlier annoyance.

Louis presses his lips together, his eyes becoming slits, before he turns around and walks away without saying another word.

-

In the afternoon, Harry is looking over some prints when he hears the front door slam downstairs. He moves from his study to the ground floor, following the sound, until he’s standing in the kitchen where Louis is there with one of Harry’s clients’ book on the counter in front of him.

“You packed this by mistake. Thought you might need it.” Louis says.

He remembers maybe packing it into a bag in his rush to pull together the mess of Lily’s things that were strewn all over the coffee table. He needs to look over the book this weekend actually so it’s a good thing that Louis noticed.

“Thanks.” Harry says back. The air feels quite cold in the moment.

“I think you should apologise to me.” Louis continues steadily, voice eerily calm like he’s suppressing a storm.

At the time, Harry wants to scoff. Why should he apologise?

“So you’re late and I’m the one who has to apologise?” he reiterates.

“Yes.” Louis shoots back, starting to walk towards Harry. “Because you were an asshole. I don’t care how late I am, you don’t get to treat me like that. And you do sometimes. Sometimes you yell at me and make me feel so small I can’t stand it. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, I do, but I’m starting to think that you like bullying me. That you like taking it out on me.”

Louis is very close now, close enough for Harry to see a tiny glisten of tears in his eyes, yet the rest of him is still composed.

“I need to tell you when you do something wrong. I’m your boss.” Harry defensively replies.

“Fuck that. You’re just angry all the time. And I take the brunt of it.” Louis spits. “I’m a nanny, I’m not yours to push around.”

“Then stop making it so damn hard for me. Get here on time, tidy any mess you make, be professional.” Louis is so close to him it’s getting too much. For some reason, his mind is flashing back to the shower a few days ago, digging up feelings he thought he buried. Feelings that were nothing but fleeting. With Louis so close, smelling the way he does, that’s a hard thought to maintain.

“Okay, then will you stop treating me like shit?” His toes are practically grazing Harry’s and it’s too much, too near. Louis is intoxicatingly gorgeous with supple skin and sharp eyes of icy blue, cutting Harry up into bits.

“I never want to treat you like shit.” Harry says lowly, fixated on the maddening upturn of Louis’ cupid’s bow.

“Then how do you want to treat me?” Louis asks, pleading with Harry to give him an answer that makes sense.

The only thing that makes sense to Harry right now is lunging forward and kissing the life out of this sweet creature in front of him. He kisses him hard, pushing him until he’s against a wall and squirming fiercely under Harry’s hold. Harry takes his little hands and pins them to his side, above his head, anything to still him enough to lick hotly into his mouth. Louis’ thin lips waste no time before they’re giving just as good as they’re getting, suckling and opening beautifully. And Harry does not hesitate to delve in, knowing an invitation when he sees one.

-

After the kiss, not much changes. They kissed long and hard against a faded backdrop of English drizzle and Harry felt like every inch of him was touching flames. It was one hell of a kiss. But when it was over, Harry was lost for words. He could only stand there and the stretch of silence paved the way for Louis to resolutely walk out.

When he returns after the weekend, bringing Lily back to the house, he’s the same but brighter. He’s walking temptation for Harry but he’s the same sweet soul that’s been around for months. Harry sees him the same amount as before but now it feels like every evening there’s something warm and a tug at his heartstrings waiting at home. It’s as if life has parted and welcomed a swarming buzz in, one that zaps around and distracts Harry in a wonderful way.

“Mr Styles, did you want me to pick up some juice boxes on my way tomorrow? I think neither of us have realised that Lily’s run out.” Louis asks as he packs his bags, ready to head home for the night.

“Call me Harry.” It comes out without prior thought but Harry knows it’s been nagging at him for a long time.

“Oh yeah?” Louis smirks, cheeky as ever. “Special privileges?”

That’s the other thing. Ever since the kiss, Louis has not forgotten. He’s more insatiable with more jokes and more flirty comments. He’s taunting Harry to catch up with him in a wild goose chase and it feels like Harry will as soon as he’s done being stunned into immobility by the view.

“Uh, no, actually.” Harry coughs. “Nobody has ever called me Mr Styles. Just took me a while to correct you, that’s all.”

Louis looks at Harry, biting back a grin as if Harry is the silliest person. Maybe he is, who knows at this point.

Then he’s back to focusing on his backpack and leaving.

“I’ll call you whatever you want me to, Harry.” he says in parting, voice like sticky sugar.

-

A few weeks later, Harry has to attend a party for his stepdad’s birthday. It’s the first time he’ll be around family since the funeral and it’s something he dreads. He knows it’s a step forward and that his parents deserve some fun but he’s skeptical as hell about whether it will be fun. There’s a high possibility of things being tense and forced and God, he doesn’t want to spend an evening tugging at his collar and meticulously keeping track of the wine so he can drive back home later.

He smooths over the front of his black velvet jacket, looking into the mirror to make sure everything is presentable.

“What do you reckon, Lily? This good enough?” He makes eye contact with his niece who is perched on his bed, giggling away happily.

“Yes!”

He laughs fondly and picks her up for a hug. She seems delighted with the texture of his velvet suit, snuggling against the foreign material.

Just then, he hears Louis come in so he grabs his wallet and keys before descending downstairs.

“Hi.” Harry greets Louis in the hallway then follows him into the living room.

“Hey! Hi, baby.” Louis turns to Lily, taking her out of Harry’s arms.

“You set for tonight? I should be home no later than midnight. Lily’s dinner is in the fridge, just needs a reheat.” Harry goes through a mental checklist.

Louis nods along but they know the details have been discussed already.

“You look handsome.” Louis tells him, direct as ever.

Harry blushes.

“Thank you.”

Louis sets Lily down on the sofa, turning on the telly for her before walking back to Harry. He gets real close, invading Harry’s air, then reaches out to stroke at his shoulders down to his chest.

“What, uh, what are you doing?” Harry croaks.

“It looked like velvet, had to be sure.” Louis replies as if it’s the most normal explanation in the world. “Quirky.”

He makes eye contact with Harry for a beat, almost daring, and then he’s patting at Harry’s front.

“Off you go, don’t wanna be late.” Louis smiles, shooing him cheerily as he turns to face Lily. “Okay, bub, what should we watch tonight? I think you’re ready for Monsters Inc, what do you think, huh? You ready for the greatest cinematic experience of your life?”

Harry’s sure that Lily has no idea what the words mean but Louis’ tone sets her off into a fit of excitement.

“Bye, guys. Have fun.” Harry waves and receives returned goodbyes before heading off, leaving behind giggles basked in a golden glow. From the overhead lamp, obviously.

-

Harry is an hour in and quite frankly, it’s been an hour too long. People from distant aunts to his childhood neighbours are milling around the house, eating his mum’s canapés and tiptoeing around Jemma’s death. It’s really not that bad, he just doesn’t feel like disappointing people who expect the usual charming Harry when he has no idea how to slip back into that form.

It all gets too much when he spots Will. His heart stops dead and he grabs his mum, pulling her into the downstairs bathroom.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Harry grits out.

“Who?” She doesn’t even need an answer, deflating in surrender. “I thought you could use something to cheer you up. I remember you and Will doing well before Jemma got diagnosed and it would be a shame to throw it all away. We’re trying to move forward right now and well, it’s not too late, darling.”

Harry is fuming anger scorching his insides.

“You had no right.”

With that, he walks calmly but surely out. He gets into his car and drives home.

-

He arrives at around 10pm. The porch light comes on as it senses his car and he makes his way inside to silence. Lily is most definitely in bed by now. Harry climbs the stairs, exhausted and ready to turn in or maybe grab a glass of whiskey from his study then turn in.

Twisting the doorknob of his bedroom, he pushes until he’s entering the space illuminated by a single bedside lamp. What he presumed to be his empty room holds Louis standing next to his drawers with a small towel wrapped around his waist. He looks just about to slip into Harry’s worn, green hoodie.

Upon noticing Harry’s presence, he freezes momentarily.

“Harry! God, I didn’t expect you back yet.”, he says. “Lily threw up all over me. I did make s’mores so I might be to blame. I had a shower and I needed something to wear. I’m sorry, I should’ve asked.”

Harry stays mute because Louis has turned to face him and his mind won’t function, not with the sight in front of him. The boy is all curves, sinful dips everywhere. There are tiny water droplets gliding all over smooth skin, catching Harry’s eye and holding him in a trance. He’s never seen anyone so beautiful and he’s standing in Harry’s bedroom.

“Harry?”

Harry’s done being still. It’s time to catch up.

He walks to stand in front of Louis and grip his carved cheeks gently, dipping down for a kiss. He wants to bruise those lips in the most tender way possible, imprinting his own with Louis’ and melding them together. He slides a tongue out and intertwines it with another more sweet yet sharp. His mind is on one thing only, though, so he slowly brings a hand between them and with one movement, tugs at the towel until it thuds on the carpeted floor like a cashmere bomb.

Louis, the most gorgeous boy, is pressed naked against Harry’s fully clothed body and he could cry.

“Lou, let me touch. Please.” Harry begs quietly into Louis’ lovely collarbones.

Louis squirms, face and breath overwhelmed. He’s lithe, so little and delectable that Harry has to clench a fist and dig his nails in to calm himself as he waits for an answer.

“Harry, I don’t know.” He’s all of a sudden flustered and reddening and Harry wants more. “What do you wanna do to me?”

He staring right into Harry’s eyes now, that trademark confidence shining through but at the same time, a vulnerability that’s asking to be comforted.

“Everything you want; I’ll make it so good, I swear.” Harry promises firmly with his forehead pressed against Louis’ and eyes shut.

“Okay.”

Harry kisses him again, unable to get enough of that sinful mouth. Meanwhile, his hands travel everywhere to touch and the palms are screaming with how good Louis feels. He feels like something brought to Harry to drive him mad and he’s alright with that.

As they kiss, Harry walks them over to his king size bed and gently pushes Louis’ willing body down on it. He lays there panting lightly as Harry straddles him and makes quick work shucking his blazer off. He’s then back to grabbing anything he can and snogging the boy beneath him into oblivion. They’re both hard as rocks when Harry eventually moves on and flips Louis’ naked form onto its front to stare at the most perfect back. It dips gracefully downwards only to curve up obscenely into full, bouncy cheeks then slopes ever so slightly down to thick thighs. It feels a lot like he’s drooling because his tongue itches to dive right in.

Harry puts a hand over the bottom of Louis’ neck to push down while his other hand lifts the boy’s hips upward into a beautifully bent position. If he wanted this a moment ago, the new sight makes his meal look even fuller as he thumbs the roundness apart. As soon as he gets to Louis’ spread, pink hole, he puts his lips over it and sucks noisily. The contact elicits whimpers from the boy that motivates Harry to get more stuck in. So he sloppily eats him out, loving the clean taste and clenches around his persistent tongue. When he spits into the opening just because he wanted to see Louis wetter, he hears him choke on a gasp.

“Harry,” Louis utters, letting it hang in the air unfinished as Harry buries his whole tongue in, the length reaching a certain spot.

Glancing to the side as he’s back to lapping on the surface, Harry sees Louis’ small hand wanking his own leaking cock and smirks at the desperate sight. He slowly grazes his moist tongue away from Louis’ arse to nuzzle at where his balls meet his crack. When he engulfs the balls into his hot mouth, tasting and smelling salt, Louis screams out in pleasure. Harry continues to suckle and dip a finger in and out of Louis’ hole as to not neglect it.

“Harry, I need,” Louis’ strained voice gets out. “Can you,”

He’s not finishing any sentences and Harry enjoying himself far too much he almost wishes he could carry on eating. But he wants Louis’ pleasure more than anything.

“What is it, baby?” He surfaces to ask.

He lazily laps away as he gives Louis a chance to answer,

“I need it rough.” Louis mumbles into his pillow.

Harry almost loses all of his carefully maintained control. He keeps his cool, though, because he can’t think of anything hotter than giving it to this gorgeous boy rough.

“I can do that. Just say if it’s too much.” Even with that, Harry has a feeling that there’s not really a ‘too much’ for Louis. The thought sends shivers through him.

While he fucks his tongue into Louis, he lifts a hand to bring back down swiftly onto Louis’ left cheek. The slap resonates against the plump bum and sets Louis into a frenzy, his hips gyrating relentlessly as he fists his hard-on. Harry can only go on the very positive reaction so he keeps up the spanks as he eats Louis out, reddening his bottom and coaxing high moans.

When Harry pulls back and lands a smack against Louis’ now glistening hole, Louis stumbles and comes with an ‘oh God’, shaking all over.

Harry only pauses for a moment before he realises that it’s probably time for him to get himself off. With that in mind, he finally discards himself of his clothes quickly as Louis remains slumped, recovering from his orgasm. Finally naked, Harry flips Louis over and soaks in the sight of the utterly debauched boy. His front is smeared with cum and his face is blotchy with shiny blue eyes and faint tear tracks. It’s all Harry needs as he gets a hand over himself to pump. He watches on as Louis moves languidly, limbs sluggish. He looks at Harry blearily, wrecked in every sense of the word. Then it appears that his bottom’s new position pressed to the mattress shoots out a fresh bout of pain and Louis begins to sob all over again. Harry twists his fist faster and as he watches Louis cry out onto his beautiful face, his dick shoots its load onto the boy’s crotch, the euphoria making Harry grunt deeply.

When he falls onto the bed, he immediately wraps Louis into his arms and kisses him.

“Want you to know how fucking good you taste.” Harry pants.

Louis whimpers through his cries, tasting himself on Harry’s roaming tongue.

They cuddle for a while after that, Harry soothing Louis with strokes against his warm back. Once Louis’ sniffles die down enough, Harry manages to get away to the en-suite to clean himself up and bring back a cloth for Louis. He also grabs lotion for Louis’ sensitive behind and Harry watches the boy fall asleep, snuffling into Harry’s full chest.

-

In the early morning, Harry blinks his eyes awake. His nose is instantly hit with the scent of fresh fruit, feathery hair tickling at it. He nuzzles in a bit deeper and closes his eyes to drink in such a happy way to wake up. Louis’ slim body is still clinging to Harry and he wants so badly to delve under the covers and kiss every inch of it. However, he really should check on Lily and sort her out for the morning.

Dejectedly, Harry carefully clambers out of bed and pulls on a fluffy, blue robe and quietly leaves the room. He then proceeds to carry out the normal morning routine of waking Lily up, getting her washed and dressed for the day and making her a bowl of porridge with strawberry jam swirled in with a spoon. Once she’s set up back in her room with toys and her little TV playing cartoons, Harry doubles checks that the monitor is working then heads back to his own room.

He returns to Louis limping around in his boxers, anxiously looking at Harry’s shirt on the floor like he wants to pull it on.

“Morning. What are you doing?” Harry startles him slightly.

“M’dressing meself. My clothes are still in the washer so I might need to borrow something. I’ll be out of your hair soon.” Louis tells him, arms wrapped around his naked torso and eyes averted from Harry’s.

“Why are you leaving?” Harry walks towards him steadily.

“I, uh, thought you’d want me gone.” Louis mutters.

“Why?”

“Because you had sex with me then when I woke up, I was alone for like an hour.”

Harry sighs, gently prying Louis’ head up to meet his gaze.

“I was just sorting Lily out.” he explains. “Get back into bed, love. Please stay, okay?”

Harry guides Louis onto the messy bed then removes his robe to wrap it around the petite boy. Once they’re both in bed, Harry hugs Louis into him and kisses his forehead.

“You don’t have to be nice, Harry.” Louis says eventually. “We had sex. It’s whatever.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Maybe because you’re not always very friendly except when you look like you want to fuck me.” Louis sniffles.

Harry shuts his eyes in embarrassment. He’s been so hot and cold with Louis in his attempt to balance his attraction to the boy, mourning, being professional, confusing feelings. It’s been a mess.

“I’m so sorry you think that.”, Harry begins. “Of course you’re attractive so I guess I do look at you in a certain way. But it’s not just that, I do have feelings for you. Like yeah it’s taken me a while to figure it out but I feel happy, which is rare these days, when I talk to you and you make me smile more than you know so I’m pretty sure that’s what that means. It’s horrible and I’m a dick for it but I got unnecessarily mean sometimes trying to suppress how I feel.”

Louis gives Harry a hard stare before he speaks.

“Just talk to me, Harry. I know you’re going through a difficult time but you’re not beyond living your life fully again. When we talk and you forget about whatever is in your head, it’s like I can’t get enough. I like you so much but I hate myself for it when you do a 180 and shut off again. Are you really that sweet, funny and warm person I think you are or are you that robot that you try to pass off?” Louis doesn’t hold back, laying out his thoughts well enough to almost trigger Harry’s fear of letting anyone in.

“How do I explain this?” Harry runs a hand over his face.

Louis takes that hand into his own and squeezes it with conviction.

“I don’t care if it makes no sense. I’ll make sense of it.” Louis tells him firmly.

“Alright.” Harry gives in. “So when Jemma got diagnosed I feel like I put my whole life on hold to be what she needed. It was like this person, rounded with everything balanced out, was shut off so I can just be by her side. It was a long battle. And in that time, I guess this normal me could never come out. I can’t be the brother who talks to Jemma’s doctor about treatment plans and watches her suffering in pain during the morning then heads for a night out later that same day. It doesn’t work like that. And then when she died, there’s no designated time for me to switch back. It feels awkward and forced to be upbeat after I spent months being so sombre, feeling so numb and angry.”

“I understand.” Louis curls a hand around Harry’s neck, turning the older man’s head to face him. “I don’t want you to be something you’re not. I don’t need this perfect version of you even if it was who you were. You just need to let yourself feel with your heart again instead of overthinking everything you say and do. Right now, you believe that you can only be this absolute charmer or this monotonous asshole but love, you can just be Harry.”

Louis’ hand remains on the back of Harry’s neck, thumb rubbing on the skin gently. Harry’s chest weighs so much lighter and he’s suddenly relieved, comforted in a genuine way that can only derive from sharing his previously buried troubles and having them fully understood. He feels like he reached out and Louis is right here, anchoring.

“I’m scared I can’t make you or anyone else happy.” Harry confesses.

Louis shakes his head.

“I don’t believe that. I see you for who you are, Harry Styles, and not who you can be.” Louis rests his head into the crook of Harry’s neck. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier, I don’t mean it; I was just scared. You’re not an asshole and I know you don’t see me as a piece of meat. You’ve always treated me with respect and kindness and you make me feel really safe. Everyone gets mad sometimes, I know you regret every time you lash out and that that’s not how you mean to be. I know.”

Harry bows down to bury his face into Louis’ soft hair, kissing the top of his head in response.

“We should give this a chance, yeah? I want to.” Harry murmurs, still nuzzling away.

“I want to, too.” Harry hears the smile in Louis’ answer.

“And I know what you said but I’ll be better. I’m done being cold and angry.” Harry decides.

Louis shuffles around so that he’s nestled properly in Harry’s lap, face to face with him and grinning.

“About time.” Louis smiles at Harry’s mock offence until the man gives into the cute cheekiness and cracks a smile of his own. Louis kisses his dimple chastely when they pop out. “Prove it, though, tell me a joke.”

Harry knows Louis is just being a nuisance so he rolls his eyes.

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?” Louis is absolutely beaming.

“Hula.”

“Hula who?”

Harry makes a popping ‘p’ sound and grins way too proudly.

Louis blanches for about a minute before he’s groaning and shoving at Harry’s shoulders.

“Oh my God, Harold.”

Harry laughs loudly as Louis clambers away from him, muttering his plans to never step foot in this house again, and has to catch his hand and pull him back in with kisses and a promise of home-cooked brunch.

-

Finally admitting his feelings and initiating something with Louis does change things for Harry. He meant it when he said he was done and that he’ll be better. It’s not for Louis but for himself and Lily. It’s time he makes a real go at moving on and there’s no better person to help than the brightest one.

He starts asking Louis to stay after work and have dinner with him and Lily. It absolutely transforms his evenings because Louis doesn’t merely stick around. He looks up weird recipes and forces Harry to cook them or he’ll do easy prep with Lily before Harry gets home to cut down on cooking time or sometimes he turns the evening into a mini party inspired by whatever cartoon or game Lily is obsessed with at the moment. He makes it easy for Harry. Maybe preemptively, starting a relationship with his niece’s nanny would be riddled with complications, but Louis is Louis and Harry falls into a life with him effortlessly. It’s as if the boy was always too brilliant and exuberant and bursting with love to remain a background piece to Harry. He would always eventually gain a larger role.

“You know, Lily, one day you’re going to be cool enough to use a fork, baby.” Louis says, watching on as the little girl munches happily on spaghetti that she’s handling with her chubby hands. The sauce is just everywhere but she’s smiling and oblivious to Louis’ teasing.

“Less cutlery to wash up.” Harry offers.

“Yes but more Lily to wash up.” Louis argues. “I’m going to put her in a bath.”

“You don’t have to, Lou. It’s getting late.” Harry says as Louis starts moving out of his chair.

“It’s Friday, don’t worry I don’t have classes or anything.” Louis dismisses, picking Lily up and bouncing her on his hips out of the room and up the stairs.

Harry allows it to happen then moves to clear the table. He’s a bit anxious because this clearly means Louis will stay over tonight. It’s not that he doesn’t want him to, God no, but they haven’t really done anything since they slept together three weeks ago. They’ll kiss here and there and cuddle on the sofa at times. Harry just really doesn’t want to push it plus it’s tricky to get sultry when there’s a toddler in the house. He hasn’t even really taken Louis out properly and well, he doesn’t want Louis to think they’re skipping stuff and heading straight into sex. He wants more with the boy.

As he’s finishing up with the dishes, Louis reemerges to plant a tiny kiss on his shoulder.

“I put her to bed because she seems so tired.” he tells Harry.

Harry nods, putting the tea towel aside before he turns to face Louis and place his hands on the younger’s hips.

“Stay the night, baby.” Harry leans in to kiss over Louis’ fluttery eyes. “I’ll make hot chocolate?”

Louis giggles.

“Okay. You got whipped cream?”

Harry wiggles his eyebrows to which Louis swats at him and pulls away.

“I’ll light the fire pit out back and we can sit on the swing, it’s a nice night.” Harry moves to do just that. “Grab the blanket from the sofa, will you?”

After Harry lights the fire, he stirs together two mugs of piping hot cocoa then sprays cream over them, finished off with chocolate shavings. He carries them out to where Louis is already settled on the porch swing, face glowing from the flames in front of him.

“Thanks, love.” Louis smiles as he takes his mug from Harry and opens the blanket for the older to slide in.

They chatter quietly as they sip at the warm drinks, pressed close to each other under the thickness of the shared blanket. Harry tells Louis about Liam mistaking a client as someone lost looking for directions because he was an alternative artist whose dress sense was a bit more eccentric than their posh office was used to. Louis snorts and shakes his head, tutting at the idea of art being micromanaged by suits. In a way, Harry agrees and he tries to articulate balancing creative freedom with ensuring that these artists actually make a living purely doing what they love.

“You could be an artist, you know.” Louis comments. “You’ve got the hands for it. They’re like, intricate and careful.”

As Louis looks up into the sky, the hollow of his neck stunning poured over with shadowy darkness, Harry thinks about it.

“I admire them too much to do what they do.” he confesses.

“That’s okay,” Louis smiles at him. “You appreciate the work and they’re lucky to have you because of that.”

Harry drains his mug then places it on the small table beside the swing. Louis was done with his a few minutes ago so Harry encircles him in closer and sways the motion without fear of spilling anything.

“Have you spoken to your mum?” Louis asks.

Harry had told him about the whole situation as they were cooking dinner last week. He sighs at the mention of it.

“She called and I just told her to forget it. I’m not angry so I’m not going to make her believe that I’m mad at her.” he replies.

“That’s good. It’s nice to let things go, isn’t it?”

Harry knows that’s all Louis wants him to do. Whenever Harry tenses up or tries to withdraw again, Louis is there to help him unclench.

A few stray sparks float up from the fire pit and Harry stares at them while Louis starts to kiss at his neck. The boy licks and sucks away at the warmed skin, letting slip needy sounds. Harry allows him to have his way, reclining his own head to savour the pleasure and circling his splayed hand at the bottom of Louis’ back ever so slightly. Once the younger is satisfied with his work, he pulls his lips away to then softly thump his head against the cushion of Harry’s chest. His panting is fragile, barely there and Harry wouldn’t even notice if not for the silent night and the faintest feeling of his speeding heartbeat against Harry’s own.

As Louis snuggles in, Harry’s hand drifts from his side to slip under the blanket and rub at Louis’ hardened crotch. The boy gasps and Harry just pecks him at the top of his head as if to let him know that he’s okay and that he’ll be taken care of.

He moves the hand until it’s underneath all layers and in contact with Louis’ leaking prick. Wrapping a fist around it, he feels Louis keen, clearly enjoying the heat and friction. He’s clutching at the front of Harry’s shirt with both hands, giving the man free rein. The hand pumps his thick length at a slowly increasing pace that forces out breathless whimpers, heating up a small area of Harry’s chest where Louis is breathing.

“Shh.” Harry soothes, sensing the boy’s squirminess. “You’re so good for me.”

Louis is close judging by how tightly strung his body has become and the fast speed of Harry’s pulls.

“S’okay, you can cum in your pants, sweetheart.” Harry tells him. He then leans right into the shell of Louis’ ear to calmly say, “I know you want to because you’re a dirty boy.”

Louis whines from the back of his throat as he creams himself, spilling out of Harry’s hand.

-

There are soft lumps of sand moulded to Harry’s back underneath his towel as he lays still, drinking in what little sunlight the English weather is offering. He can hear Louis and Lily softly talking next to his head as they attempt to build a sandcastle. Knowing that Lily is a literal baby and that Louis is Louis, he can already tell that the ‘sandcastle’ is probably a big mound. Harry already plans to fix it up into a proper castle in a bit so that he won’t have two pouting faces to deal with and because it’ll be nice for pictures.

They’ve driven down to the nearest beach since it’s Lily’s birthday and Louis insisted on a real fun day for her. He also said he’s in dire need of a tan, which Harry disagrees with since Louis always looks sun kissed for some reason, so the idea of his niece splashing around happily and his boy in swimming trunks was a hard one to turn down. Harry even packed a picnic with triangle sandwiches and a small cake for Lily to blow a candle out.

“Harry, we know you’re not sleeping so come help us.” Louis says, snapping Harry out of his daydreams.

“You guys are doing great without me.” Harry tells him without opening his eyes.

When he gets wet sand chucked at him, it’s clear that the time to rescue this sandcastle is now.

“Okay, okay.” Harry dusts himself off and turns to look at the mess Louis and Lily built, suppressing his laughter. “See? Good job!”

Louis looks unimpressed and Lily looks like she’s trying to copy said unimpressed expression.

Harry rolls his eyes before he grabs the bucket and spade, getting to work. He doesn’t really mind it though and he manages to build a respectable castle in a few minutes since it’s really not that hard to shovel sand into a mould then tip it back out. He checks through the shells that they collected earlier to make sure that they’re all safe with no sharp edges before letting Lily take over with decorating.

“Look at you, Bob the Builder.” Louis teases.

“I’m a man of many talents. Good with my hands.” They’ve both leaned back with their hands on the big blanket, legs stretched out and Lily in front of them with her castle.

“I know.” Louis answers suggestively.

“There’s a child right there.” Harry jokingly scolds.

“Sorry, babe. Won’t talk about-” Louis lowers his voice. “-how you fingered me so good last night then screwed me hard for hours.”

Harry blushes hard and clamps a hand over Louis’ mouth even though his voice was barely above a whisper.

“Alright, I’m gonna be PG now, I swear.” Louis muffles. Harry drops his hand and pulls Louis over to sit in between his legs, rested against Harry’s front. “Are you having fun?”

“I am. Thanks for suggesting this, honey.” Harry pecks the back of Louis’ neck, smelling the sunscreen and sea salt. “You’re so good for us.”

“You’re wonderful as you are together. I’m just happy to be here.” Louis replies.

They stay there quietly for a long while listening to seagulls and lazy tides draping over the shore. Harry has Louis, baked golden in his red swim trunks, right in his arms. His curves laid out for display in daylight has Harry in awe and satisfied with thumbing at his dipped tummy because that’s all it takes for Louis to overwhelm him.

They eat when Lily starts fussing and Harry has to refrain from feeding Louis all of the strawberries after the boy leans in to jokingly bite at a plump one that was in Harry’s hand. Because it’s her birthday, Harry even lets Lily have more Nutella sandwiches than ham but he’s fearful of it causing sickness. She’s gurgling away cheerfully with Louis cooing at her though so for now, Harry has no concerns.

After lunch, Harry gets out a single pink candle and sticks it into the cake before he lights it. Him and Louis sing Happy Birthday right there on the beach and Lily can hardly contain herself from the attention she’s getting. It takes a while for her to grasp the concept of blowing the flame out but once she does, Louis cuddles her in and tells her how proud he is. Harry can’t help but agree.

Full from food and cake, Lily ends up napping on Harry’s chest for a portion of the afternoon. Louis talks to him in whispers about his sisters and recounts every single one of their first birthdays with his hand loosely held by Harry’s. He details the mayhem of it all, especially when it comes to the twins’ birthday, and Harry is absolutely enraptured. Nobody tells stories like Louis does, Harry is convinced of this.

“Hi, sleepy baby.” Louis kisses Lily’s cheek as she slowly blinks her eyes open. “Who’s awake just in time for perfect swimming weather, huh?”

And so they swim. It’s mostly just splashing around near the shore but the water feels nice and cool on their warmed skin. They’ve also been staying at a quiet area so there’s hardly anyone around, giving Lily freedom to be as loud as she likes as she plays excitedly.

Harry lets Lily seat herself on his shoulders with her chubby little legs swinging against his cheeks as he holds onto her teensy ankles. He spins them around and swooshes her left and right as she laughs light and sweet like she’s happy. Louis is there the whole time, giggling at Harry’s antics and crinkling his eyes too beautifully. When Harry is sure that Lily is clutching securely enough to his curls, he reaches his arms out to pull Louis in. With the smaller boy in his arms, he kisses him gently then dunks them all under the shallow water.

Everyone splutters and they tumble around in the sea, grasping at the tail end of real sunlight. That only lasts for another fifteen minutes but it doesn’t even matter because it’s the perfect amount of time to end the day.

-

Much to Harry’s dismay, Lily’s dad, Carl, is allowed to spend some time with her. It’s only for one day but Harry is still pissed that a guy so incompetent is being seriously considered for the responsibility of being Lily’s full time carer simply because of some blood. The custody case is dragging and he just wants what’s right to come quicker which is his mum being given full custody.

It’s a Saturday so Louis said he would drop Lily off at the park where Carl is taking her since Harry doesn’t want any trouble that comes with being face to face with the man. He understands that Lily should have contact with her own father. It might just be too much to witness though.

“I’m back!” Louis calls out as he comes through the front door.

Harry has been watching some property show in the living room to ineffectively distract himself. Now that Louis’ back, and will be here for the rest of the day, he thinks it’s more realistic to focus on the boy rather than houses in the countryside.

“Everything went okay?” Harry asks when Louis plops himself down beside him with a kiss.

“Yeah, all smooth. I stayed for the first half an hour like you wanted and we got some drinks from the cafe there. Carl didn’t murder anyone.” Louis grins at the last part and Harry rolls his eyes. “Sorry, love. How are you, you holding up okay?”

As Louis snuggles into Harry’s side, he sighs.

“I’m fine. Carl just gets under my skin. I always wished Jemma never even met him.”

There’s a beat of silence before Louis speaks.

“Tell me to piss off if you want but what was even the deal? Did he actually completely bugger off straight away?” Louis asks curiously.

“No, not really.” Harry answers. “When Jemma got pregnant, it was obvious that he wasn’t pleased. They weren’t exactly married or stable enough for a baby but he sort of reluctantly stuck around. But when Lily was born he confessed that he didn’t think he could do it. He left Jemma. After that, he was sporadic and dipped in and out of their lives. It was like he was fighting with himself. Jemma allowed it because she wanted Lily to have a dad.”

Louis strokes at Harry’s chest as he listens, appearing to be understanding of the story.

“That sucks. I had a lot of ‘dads’ who bailed; it’s like, why are men such cowards?” Louis says. His tone is light and Harry gets that it’s not a tough area for him anymore. “Lily will figure out what she wants herself when the time comes.”

And Harry agrees with that. He feels like he should protect her because he loves her so much but ultimately, it’s her choice who she has in her life. Carl may be unreliable but he’s her dad and he’d never hurt her intentionally.

“She seems to know who he is pretty well, you know. She calls him ‘daddy’, I didn’t really expect that.” Louis refers back to the initial conversation about his drop off today.

“Yeah, like I said, he dipped in and out. She definitely knows he’s her dad.” Harry replies.

“You know, she’s so young that I used to wonder why she never thought you were her dad.”

“Oh no, she’d never think that.” Harry laughs. “She might not understand all the different types of relations but I’m definitely Harry to her, not ‘daddy’.”

“You’d have a problem with it?”

“Not really, just don’t want to confuse her.”

“What about just being Daddy?” Louis waggles his eyebrows and Harry laughs.

“Stop that, you’re a menace.” Harry reprimands, blushing slightly at the change of tone.

“Oh come on, Daddy,” Louis continues with a faux whiney voice. “Have I been bad?”

It’s so ridiculous and they’re obviously bantering but Louis really needs to understand that everything and anything he does gets to Harry.

“Louis.” he warns.

The smaller chooses that moment to move himself onto Harry’s lap and mouth at the man’s neck with a smile on his face.  
“What, do you think I need a spanking?” Louis murmurs into his ear.

Harry just groans as the boy starts to ride him dry, kissing and nibbling away at skin like an insatiable minx. They make out with sloppy and hard presses of tongue and lip until they’re both unbearably hard in their trousers.

“Louis, honey,” Harry pants. He wishes he could magically be inside him right now.

“Should plug me up or something. Keep me ready for it, I fucking hate prep sometimes.” Louis says in between kisses as if he could read Harry’s mind.

They end up fucking on the sofa with Louis pressed into the cushions after Harry ran up to get lube and a condom. Harry drives himself in and out with barely any control as he looks at Louis’ wrecked little body. He’s naked and sensitive and spread open for Harry to have at. There’s no track of time when he fucks Louis, it’s all about a moment. There’s only flushed skin and sugar sweet smells radiating from Louis’ sweat, cum and breath. When they slow down to sink into each other deeper and kiss, it’s just as good as the fast pace. And when Harry can sense Louis’ stretched thighs are starting to tremble in soft ripples from too much of everything, he reverts to harsh thrusts and harsher grips onto those gorgeous hips until Louis’ shiny cock head is spluttering and he’s smirking cheekily as he whispers ‘Daddy’, pushing Harry to pulse inside the rubber and cum hard.

-

Harry feels like maybe he’s getting better at living. He’d like to say it’s Louis or Lily or time or a changed attitude but he knows it’s a combination. Is he healing? Or was it just a natural progression of life all along? He never felt scathed in any way, more numb, and so ‘healing’ might not be appropriate. It feels more like entering the next phase of his life. He’s now in the fading area of the gradient between Chapter X and Chapter Y. And he knows now that he’ll need to do more if he’s to make it to the opaque part.

“How would you feel if I opened a gallery.” Harry says. He’s got Liam in his office going through some pieces together for Liam’s next meeting.

Harry’s friend looks up from the glossy album in front of him.

“Huh. I never really saw a gallery as part of our company. Seems a bit odd and not really what we do.” Liam contemplates.

“No, I don’t mean the company. I mean me. What if I opened a gallery?” Harry corrects.

“What are you thinking?” Liam asks, closing the book and putting it aside.

“I’m thinking of buying a small space and opening a gallery for all the artists I kept finding and loving but not being able to represent them because they don’t stack up according to our commercial screening.”

Liam looks in thought at Harry’s idea.

“You’re not trying to say something about this company, are you?”

Harry sighs.

“No, Liam. I’ve always wanted to open a gallery and I have the money to do it. But I won’t if you think it’s not good for business.” Harry taps away at his hard desk with a shiny pen.

“If this is what you want, you should do it. And I’ll help you if you need me.” Liam tells him without missing a beat.

For everything that Liam is, there is a reason why he is a permanent fixture in Harry’s life. He’d be be there for the other through the stupidest moments to the toughest, most real ones. They’re miles and miles apart in terms of character but Harry’s learned that that is irrelevant when it all boils down to loving and respecting one another.

“I’ll definitely take you up on that offer.” Harry smiles.

-

“I like it.” Louis concludes.

They’re both in Harry’s home office right now, both behind his desk with Louis in his lap, as Harry flicks through photos of the place he’s considering for the gallery.

“You don’t think it’s too sterile?” Harry asks, brows furrowed as he scrutinises the photo currently on the computer screen that shows a big space with white walls.

“Nah. A gallery is like a canvas’ canvas, innit? You’ll obviously get a designer in before you open but at the end of the day, it shouldn’t be flashy.” Louis replies. “Not that I’m an expert.”

Harry shakes his head.

“I care about your input, babe.” He kisses the side of Louis’ head softly. “Love hearing your opinion on everything.”

“Everything?” Louis turns to give Harry a challenging look.

“No, I hate your opinion on sushi.”

Louis gapes at him.

“Fuck off! You’re just pretentious along with everyone else faking their like for that crap!” Louis argues indignantly.

“It’s lovely and you’re just stubborn.” Harry rolls his eyes. Louis is honestly the biggest brat sometimes and it’s too endearing for words.

“For that, we’re having takeaway tonight. Proper unhealthy stuff and a lot of it.” Louis sniffs, turning back around to face the computer and cross his arms.

Harry just smiles because Louis knows that he prefers to eat healthy, especially since having Lily, but ultimately he likes food same as everyone else.

“Whatever makes you happy, baby.” He snuggles into Louis’ neck and happily inhales the boy’s sweet scent.

They sit there in comfortable silence for a few minutes and Harry closes his eyes to take in a moment of peace.

“I am, you know.” Louis says quietly to lightly crack the silence. “You make me so happy.”

Harry’s heart feels fuller than ever.

“And I don’t know if it’s me necessarily but I think you’re somewhat happy too these days. All this stuff with the gallery is so good and it’s stupid maybe but I’m proud as hell of you.” Louis continues. “I knew you had it in you, Harry Styles.”

“Of course it’s you.” Harry hugs Louis into his body until he’s cradling him against his own chest. “You could make the grumpiest man in the world smile.”

“And I did.” Louis quips.

Harry pretends to be affronted for a second before he breaks into a grin, staring into Louis’ sparkling blue eyes and kissing the boy senseless.

“I know an artist actually.” Louis says after their mouths break apart. “We should check out his work, maybe consider it for the gallery.”

“Sounds good.” Harry answers before he dives in for more kisses.

-

It’s a week later when Louis and Harry are making their way up some very dusty stairs to a studio. Harry’s mum has Lily for the weekend and Louis said that his artist friend was happy for them to drop by and look around. He sounds quite zen from what Harry has heard but he’s got no idea what the guy’s art entails. Louis met him at uni where he was doing a degree in literature and his primary activity was getting high apparently. Harry hopes to God that the art would at least be somewhat decent so that he doesn’t have to be rude about Louis’ friend.

They arrive at what seems to be the top of the building and stop in front of a deep olive door. Louis pulls out a key from his denim jacket to unlock said door then ushers them inside the space.

Once inside, Harry can see that the studio is quaint but a great workspace for any artist. An entire wall is just panelled glass that encases a brilliant view of the city dwindling down. Up against it is a folded out futon. There are counters to the sides and a high table near the centre where a lot of work is scattered but a majority of the space is left empty for projects. There are two other rooms indicated by the doors on the left wall. Other than stuff for photography and painting, a black mini fridge sits on the corner of a counter next to a coffee machine and a few cameras. The exposed bricks and big bulbs that stream out mini oceans of white light ties the studio into a contemporary bubble.

“This is cool.” Harry comments, admiring everything with darting eyes.

“Yeah, it’s sick. Zayn lucked out big time with this and we used to hang out here all the time to like de-stress. He even has a darkroom next to the toilet over there.” Louis gestures to the two doors.

“He’s okay with us nosing around his stuff?” Harry asks on his way to actually look at the art.

“Pretty much. He’s open about his stuff, especially with me so we’re good. He’d be here himself but he’s not the biggest fan of meeting new people plus he’s at home with his family right now.” Louis explains.

Harry nods as he looks over the work spread out on the table. It’s clear that Zayn is mostly into photography from the amount of prints compared to anything else.

“He likes to draw at home so it’s mostly photos up here.” Louis tells him, walking over to the fridge. “You want a drink?”

Harry hums his assent as he’s still engaged with inspecting the art. There is a lot of colour in the photos of traditional Pakistani settings, displaying golds and purples and greens. They caught Harry’s eye since they’re a bit of a surprise compared to the other, more modern and muted pieces.

“Zayn’s a bit broody, that’s what the black and white is about.” Louis hands Harry a can of Coke that he accepts.

Suddenly, Harry spots a sizeable collection of prints showing off Louis. They’re all in black and white and all of Louis’ body. He’s lying down naked in most of them and the lens focused in on patches of him from his collar bones to his arms to his back dipping down. They’re beautifully shot and Harry is almost salivating.

When he tears his eyes away to check out a canvas propped up next to the table, he all but drops all prior interest.

It’s a charcoal piece of Louis sitting on a chair. He’s in the nude and his legs are on one side while his arms fold to lie on the back of the chair with his head rested on top so he’s facing away. His profile is captured so it’s a palette of shaded curves and the lightest sharpening around the face to indicate his bone structure. Lashes are silhouetted against a backdrop of the city view that he’s staring into. You can’t see a cigarette but there’s the faintest smudge of smoke patterns rising that implies Louis is clutching one in his fingers hidden from the angle.

“You seem to be quite the muse.” Harry says, still enraptured by the canvas.

“Zayn said my curves lets him play around with shadows and shading.” Louis then laughs. “That’s probably the artist way of saying he wanted nudes of me.”

“You dated?”

“Not really. Zayn is straight so it was only high fucks.” Louis sips at his Coke and comes to stand beside Harry in front of the canvas. “I like this one. It was first year and we were up here. I wanted to chain smoke and do nothing so Zayn let me.”

“You’re stunning, do you know that?” Harry has to ask because Louis is the most breathtaking human he’s ever laid eyes on.

Louis blushes.

“Somewhat.” He starts wandering off to the side of the studio. “I’ve been in paintings, sketches, photos, drawings but never,”

The boy pauses then turns back to face Harry with a camera in his hand.

“-a video.”

Harry’s gaze turns dark. He walks over to Louis and picks him up to deposit him onto the futon, climbing on not far behind.

“Let’s change that.”

They press against each other and Harry hopes to breathe Louis in with every swipe and push of his lips. The camera slips slowly out of Louis’ light clutch when Harry brings his hands up to grip at his sides. They meld and melt with their knees digging into the barely cushioning mattress until Harry feels too hot and crowds Louis’ small body until it collides with the glass filtering a bright orange beam of light exuded by the setting sun.

They kiss against London sinking into nightfall, bathed in the kind of glow that exposes tiny particles drifting on air. When Harry closes his eyes, it’s crimson red like the blood that rushes through his body and pumps his heart a million times faster when he’s got a gorgeous boy pinned and breathless.

Louis pulls away taking with him a thin string of wetness clinging to the edge of their parted lips until it snaps like a bubble bursting. He lightly shoves at Harry’s shoulder so that there is a space between them. He’s an angel in the centre of Harry’s vision and propelled by a golden background. Harry reaches for the camera and starts recording as Louis sensually strips off his clothes wearing a hard stare.

Once he’s bare, the peach fuzz of his skin stands up against the evening sunlight and borders his figure luminously.

“Come here.” Harry murmurs deeply.

Louis crawls over and removes all of Harry’s clothing with his little hands and determination. He proceeds to palm over Harry’s bare cock then looks up at the camera from under his heavy lashes, coy as ever, to say,

“Can I suck you off? I’ll be good.”

He’s a pro at all of this, slipped too easily into a sultry persona. Harry tells him yes and he ducks down to lap at the shiny head, eyes never leaving the lens. He gives a perfectly sloppy blowjob, making sure to drool everywhere and massage precum up and down so that it’s wet and obscene. He chokes himself until he thinks better of it and grabs Harry’s free hand to slap it over his head, allowing Harry to push him and do the choking. Being inside Louis’ throat feels unbelievable and Harry is on the edge of the edge. His blue eyes begin to tear up as he carries on fucking his mouth over Harry’s hard dick but he knows just when to pull off before Harry cums. His puffy lips and the area around it are wet.

Harry honestly feels like an audience as he waits to see what Louis will do next. The smaller boy reaches under the futon and pulls out a bottle of lube. He slicks up his fingers the leans his back against the glass, spreads his thick thighs and starts stretching himself open.

As Louis fingers himself openly, Harry films and gulps. He’s seen Louis getting fingered many times before but never like this. He’s thrown his head back and his moans sound so real and helpless as his delicate fingers prod and stretch. It’s like he knows his body well and he knows exactly what buttons to press to give himself pleasure. He could finish the show alone doing just this and it would be one hell of a performance.

But then he takes Harry’s hand into his and brings him in. Harry’s own, longer and thicker, fingers steadily join in and try to emulate Louis’ exactly. Eventually, Louis lets go completely and his small hands clutch desperately at the sheets as his legs spread wider and wider to give Harry complete access. His eyes are screwed shut while Harry fucks him with three fingers. The studio is silent but for his raspy gasps, legs jolting at every sensitised touch.

Louis has lost himself in it and his hips are gyrating down and seeking delicious strokes. Harry’s prick is so hard at this point that he has to get inside the boy. He shifts himself until he’s lined up just outside of Louis’ entrance, camera aimed at it, then quickly pulls away, replacing his fingers with his cock. He sighs in relief, eyes rolling at the pleasure while Louis yelps at the unexpected change.

“Oh!” His toes curl and his flush deepens by several shades. “Ha-Harry, are you in me bare?”

And fuck, Harry didn’t even realise the lack of rubber.

“Yeah, God, sorry.” Harry groans, partly because he’s sheathed in Louis’ heat but not moving.

“S’okay.” Louis croaks. “Feels bigger.”

At that, Harry begins thrusting. He fucks Louis up against the window, rough with his pace, and their loud noises mingle with the smell of sex. It’s hot and erratic and intense. Harry dropped the camera at some point so it’s filming them as they go at it like animals. He slaps his hands onto the glass and pivots his hips in and out then in swivelling motions that have Louis choking on the air he’s trying to breathe. With each slam of his hips into Louis’, the younger’s body is being pushed up.

Harry might have used up everything by some point so he sits back until Louis is in his lap. He reaches back out for the camera and pans it to film Louis riding him. He’s a fucking great rider and knows how to roll those full hips so that he’s giving Harry’s dick the best friction. When he starts to really bounce, the camera focuses on his smooth tummy and his curved dick jostling along. Sliding up for a moment, it captures Louis’ debauched face and his hands gripping at his own hair for something to hold onto. His mouth is a perfect ‘O’ as it pants and whines with every lift and drop.

“Doing so good, baby.” Harry encourages.

“M’so full. Shit. Fuck, I can feel your cock in my tummy.” Louis gasps.

Harry groans at that and carries on meeting Louis with his own thrusts. Almost out of nowhere, Louis’ dick spurts out cum, untouched, whilst he bounces. It streaks his belly and the camera lens as he screams out.

“Fucking hell.” Harry buries his bead into Louis’ neck, unable to take what he just witnessed.

“Harry, God, oh God.” Louis whimpers in the after wave of his orgasm, still rocking down.

It’s hazy but after a minute or two he comes to and his eyes fixate on the defaced lens. Harry looks at him curiously before he leans down to lap his tongue over it and clean his own cum off. That is much more than Harry can handle and he cums into the filthy boy with a shout.

It feels like heaven to pulse inside Louis completely bare.

“You came in me.” Louis states.

Yeah, Harry did. And he has nothing else to say for himself.

While Harry is still recovering, Louis slips off him and turns around. Harry gets the hint and lifts the camera so that captures his spunk dripping out of Louis’ pink, sore hole. His arse looks so fucking tantalising, round and evidence of it having been ruined by his dick right in the middle. So he brings a hand up to play around with it for a bit. He thumbs at the rim and Louis hisses slightly. He uses two fingers to push some of the cum back in, fascinated by it all.

Louis turns around then, on his hands and knees, and by that point, there’s cum dripping down Harry’s fingers. The boy ducks his head and mouths at the outstretched hand, literally eating out of Harry’s palm. It’s so dirty and it’s all on footage now.

That’s enough, in Harry’s personal opinion, so he shuts off the camera and they slump down beside one another.

“I can’t believe you’re real.”

Louis laughs hysterically at that and Harry can’t help but join him.

-

As summer is winding down, Harry gets news that he thought would make him happy. It doesn’t make him unhappy per se. He’s on an emotional fence.

His mum called and told him that the case is finally ending and that it looks like she will be getting custody after all. If things go as planned, Lily will be in her full time care by the end of the year. And that, well, that’s hard to process. He knows it was difficult and scary and life changing at the start but he doesn’t know if he can remember life without Lily in the house.

He’s gotten used to, and maybe even grown to love, everything that comes with his niece. That includes her indecipherable chatter, YouTubing French plait tutorials, weekend Disney movie nights as well as the mess always inhabiting every room, being woken up at any time she deems acceptable and never having a moment alone. It’s all chaotic and all routine now. Which is so bloody ironic considering no twenty five year old would ever wish this situation upon himself.

After the phone call, Harry leaves Lily with Louis for the afternoon and goes to find some sunflowers. He takes a train then walks from the station all the way to a small church and finds Jemma’s resting place under a light shade formed from overhanging leaves.

“Hi.”

This is actually the first time he’s visited. There’s never been anyone else to visit so he was unclear about protocol. He’s here now though so he starts by placing the bright yellow flowers in front of the headstone then sits down on the thick grass. Thankfully, the area is quiet and he can take his time and appreciate every rustle rippling from the gentle wind.

“What do I say to you then?” he starts. “You probably know everything already. Just what you’ve always wanted; to be the ultimate know it all.”

He laughs.

Once he breaks the ice, he talks about whatever comes to mind. A lot of it is to do with Lily and he hopes she’s not too bored when he drones out story after story. Deep down, he knows she appreciates it.

“All I really wanted to say, Jem, was thanks for making such a great daughter. It’s going to be hard to let her go but I’ll still try my hardest to be her favourite uncle. I’ll spoil her exactly like you warned me not to and I’ll love her through my best imitation of how you did. She’ll never feel short on love.”

And that really was the whole thing. It’s what he needed to say and now that he has, it all feels less muddled.

“What do you think of Louis? He’s something else, right?” Harry chuckles, bowing his head. “I love him. He’s literal sunshine. He’s special and so good. But I don’t want this to have anything to do with my feelings for him. I don’t want him to be a solution to my problems. I want our love to exist on its own. I want to love him, have him around without it being part of the bullshit, you know?” Harry pauses, eyes squinting up at the white sun as if looking into Jemma’s eyes. “I don’t want to need him.”

That’s the other thing; what to do about Louis moving forward. It feels real to him but what does he know? He’s never been in love in that all-consuming way. He’s never known Louis without bearing the burden of mourning. There is a fear that he’s been avoiding which is that Louis is a distraction and a projection of his desire to be happy again.

Those feelings will remain open-ended for now, though. He has to deal with one thing at a time.

As Harry sits in further silence, he glances around and watches birds in the trees above exist. They’re sweet and the wind feels warm on his back through the cotton layer of a white t-shirt.

“You’d like him.”

-

Harry reckons that he should do something nice for Louis when he breaks the news to him. Or maybe that’s an excuse for wanting to do something nice for Louis.

“Is this necessary?” Louis huffs as they walk to the closed garage with Harry’s hands over his eyes.

“Yes so stop complaining.”

When they get there, Harry removes one hand to retrieve the remote from his back pocket. Thankfully, Louis has a lovely little face and Harry has big hands so one is more than enough to obstruct his vision. He clicks the button for the garage door to lift open and reveal a shiny white Lexus RX-Hybrid. His hand drops from Louis’ eyes.

“What is this?” Louis blanches at the car. “Did you get a new car?”

“No, I’m a Range Rover man myself.” Harry replies.

“So, what?”

“It’s for you, baby.”

Louis’ jaw hangs open and he blinks rapidly at Harry.

“What? Why the fuck?”

“Charming.” Harry snorts. “You need a car so I got you one.”

“You are crazy if you think I’m accepting this.”

“Then call me crazy.” Harry shrugs. “You’re taking it, no arguments.”

“This is too much.” Louis starts walking to get a closer look. His face is in awe of the gorgeous exterior and he actually bites his lip when he peeks inside at the maroon and black leather interior.

“Honey, please accept it.” Harry comes up behind him to wrap him into a hug and slip the keys into his pocket. “It’ll make me so happy.”

“Harry-“ Louis starts to protest again.

“Think of it as a parting paycheque.”

Louis turns in his arms to look at him.

“What?”

Harry sighs then steps away so that they’re standing face to face.

“My mum is moving in soon for a few weeks to get Lily adjusted to her before they move to Cheshire according to the court order. So, technically, she won’t need a nanny anymore.” Harry explains.

“Oh.” Louis’ shoulders slump and he looks disappointed.

“I’m sorry, babe. But I promise you I’ll look after you, don’t worry about anything. This is even a good thing because then our relationship can just be about us.” Harry pulls Louis in to hold him.

“S’not about the money.” Louis mumbles into Harry’s chest. “I’ll miss it.”

“I know. Me too.”

They stand there for a while embracing each other and appreciating the quietness to let it all sink in. Eventually, they part and kiss softly.

“Wanna check out your new car?” Harry asks.

Louis rolls his eyes.

“Come on then.”

They slide into the front seats and fiddle about with the parts, trying to figure out how all the modern technology works. It’s mutually agreed that while they don’t exactly know how to work anything, the seats are incredibly comfortable.

“So, should we christen it?” Harry dimples, wagging his eyebrows.

“Not a chance you’re getting spunk in my new car, Styles.” Louis shoots back with a self-satisfied smirk.

He still ends up getting fingered in Harry’s lap but that just means that cum gets all over Harry, not the leather seats.

Harry holds a warm Louis close to him as he recovers from his orgasm and places small pecks all over his head. The boy nuzzles in with his eyes closed.

“I meant it; I want to take care of you.” Harry says steadily. “You’re starting third year any day now and you shouldn’t worry about money, sweetheart. I have the means to help and you should let me. I know you’re going to argue but please, think about it.”

Louis says nothing and remains still in Harry’s arms, letting the latter stroke his back soothingly.

“I’ll think about it.” he eventually mutters.

-

With Harry’s mum in the house now, both him and Louis realise that they can’t exactly carry on as normal. For one, Louis no longer works at the house so he’s not naturally there almost everyday. There’s also the fact that Harry doesn't want to talk about his relationship with Louis to his mum. They still haven’t fully defined anything and, well, Harry actually hasn’t told anyone about them because he’s been too scared to break the bubble encasing them. So he’s been picking Louis up at random intervals during the day like lunch breaks and gaps in their timetables to take him out for a meal or a movie.

It’s Tuesday lunchtime and they’re having a romp in the backseat of Harry’s Range Rover when Louis offers another idea to spend time together.

“You should come out with me.” he says. “Meet my friends, check out where I’m living right now.”

Thinking about it, Harry has never really seen Louis’ life up close. He’s heard stories but they never thought of bringing Harry into the circle, probably because they live such different lives. He’s not even been to Louis’ place yet.

“Would you want that?” Harry asks.

“Yeah, it’ll be fun. I haven’t been out out in a while so we’re all thinking about doing Friday night. Come over to mine for pres then we’ll just see which club is busiest and head there.” Louis answers.

Harry hasn’t been clubbing in a very long time. But he’s never going to say no to Louis.

“That sounds like fun, okay.” he smiles.

Louis smiles back then returns his attention to giving Harry a hickey on his chest.

-

When Louis opens his front door on Friday night, Harry almost passes out.

He’s dressed in tight, black skinny jeans with two rips; one in the left knee and the other in the right thigh. It’s paired with a red henley, scoop neck revealing peaks of his shoulders and collarbone, rolled up to show off his delicate forearms. His little feet are clad in white Vans, triangle ankle tattoo on full display. His hair has been swept into a feathered fringe that falls over shimmering eyelids and looking down from there, his lips are soaked with cherry gloss. He’s put on a pair of tiny, silver hoop earrings, tying the whole look together. That along with the delicious scent of his vanilla perfume has Harry ready to fall to his knees.

“Baby, you look unbelievable.”

Louis giggles and bites his lip.

“What about you? I love the shirt; it’s sexy as hell.” he replies.

Harry shakes his head because his sheer black button up and jeans are literally nothing in comparison.

“I honestly want to do unspeakable things to you right now.” Harry confesses in all seriousness.

“Well, you’re just gonna have to wait.” Louis teases. “We have guests and a whole night planned.”

He starts walking back into the flat, gesturing for Harry to follow and Harry does, mesmerised by how the back of his shirt has ridden up and tucked itself into the obscene dip between Louis’ lower back and his gorgeous bum.

“This is Niall, Niall this is Harry.” Louis gestures introductions between Harry and a grinning blonde mixing drinks at the kitchen counter.

“S’nice to meet you!”

“You too.” Harry smiles back.

From there, the night only gets rowdier. A bunch more people arrive after 9pm and they bring with them bottles of cheap liquor and highly buzzed energy. Harry sticks to whiskey but he does mix it with Coke like he used to while Louis gets even sweeter off peach schnapps. It’s not a bad crowd and Harry does fine making conversation. He meets the infamous Zayn who brings with him a few art students and obviously their interests align with his perfectly.

He’s in the middle of discussing mainstream figures with a girl called Pixie when a drunk and flushed Louis informs him that they’re heading to Prism. Harry agrees by pecking him quickly then wanders into the hall to retrieve his jacket only to drape it over Louis’ small frame as they all bound out of the house and into the chilly London air.

Harry walks along the streets with the group holding Louis’ hand and waits patiently with them in the queue for the club. They break out cigarettes as soon as they join so that they’re not smoking near the front and he shares one with Louis.

“You okay, darling?” Harry asks, pressing his face to Louis’ neck.

“Yeah, m’good. Feel good.” Louis grins. “You okay? I hope you’re having fun.”

The younger wraps his arms around Harry’s waist and looks him the eyes with a dazed expression.

“I am, this is nice. Your friends are cool.” Harry answers.

“Yes!” Louis giggles. “We STEM students love to defy the stereotype so I’m very happy to hear that.”

Harry just smiles down at him and they kiss for a few seconds, tongues sloppily curling.

Once in the club, pop music pounds heavily and the late hour equates to little to no free space. They dance for a long time, lost in the sheer loudness, and Harry is unsurprised to discover that Louis is a tease. He’s all swivelling hips and tipped back head which is an act that he laughs about in his state of intoxication. But then he stops laughing and he closes his eyes and Harry just knows that he’s seriously this gorgeous and alluring. Harry’s cock in having a hard time between his trousers and Louis’ sensual bum.

Louis goes off with one of the guys in the group for a bit then Harry watches as he returns to his field of vision and slips into the restroom. Harry follows to see if he’s alright.

Inside, he catches Louis entering a cubicle and dashes forward to join the tight space. Louis startles until he sees who it is then relaxes again.

“Hi, love.” he slurs.

“You were gone for a bit there, just wanted to make sure you’re alright.” Harry tells him. “You need me to leave you to it?”

He assumes Louis probably wants to pee and is content to wait outside.

“Nah, it’s okay.” Louis waves off the suggestion, a tiny bag of white powder in his hands. “We’ll go out together. Don’t wanna lose you.”

Harry nods and leans against the stall, watching Louis tip powder out onto the surface on top of the toilet tank. He remembers being grossed out back in first year of uni when he saw his mate do lines off a toilet but realises how ridiculous that was considering the damage is in what he was snorting, not what he was snorting off.

Louis rises up after a couple of inhales, breathing in with his eyes shut, and Harry strokes his back through it.

“You want some?” Louis offers. “S’only ket.”

Of course it is, what else could students afford.

“Haven’t done that in a while.” Harry confesses. It wouldn’t be too bad and actually, he’s not even drunk right now.

“C’mere.” Louis mutters and Harry bends his head down.

He only snorts once and as soon as he starts to lift up, Louis’ face is crowded into his and they’re making out, breathing each other heavily.

Harry’s mind is almost blank and it’s all sensory in that moment. They’re humping up against each other in the cramped space, his back to a barely stable wall. The mouth that he’s licking and sucking into is so wet that it makes everything dirty.

The next thing he knows, Louis is on his knees on the filthy bathroom floor and sucking his hard dick. It’s a little fuzzy when he looks down but there are faint rings of red gloss around his length and his precum is smearing more of said gloss all over Louis’ face. His tongue sharpens then flicks into the slit in Harry’s head, sending unbelievable pleasure up him and into a deep groan, as his dainty hand wanks the rest off feverishly. Louis opens his mouth wide, sticks his tongue out into the air and dips his head so that Harry’s cockhead is in shooting range, the perfect setup for when Harry curses and spurts out in ribbons. Louis catches all of the load and swallows with a blissed out look, tongue darting out to lick around his mouth for any remnants.

“Love your cum.” Louis’ nose is nuzzling into Harry’s crotch.

“Really? Hadn’t noticed.” Harry exhales a soft chuckle.

-

The same time a week on, Harry brings Louis into a slice of his life.

As he makes progress with the gallery, he decides to attend a networking dinner and mingle hosted in the name of some charity. The company does send people often to make nice so Harry has double the purpose tonight. He’s only really dreading conversation with the older guys because they really like to think that they’ve got art sussed and are unbelievable close minded and judgemental. They’re big funders, though, so Harry wants them on his good side.

“You sure you want me there? I know fuck all about art, might embarrass you.” Louis asks anxiously from his perched position on the bed.

“Baby, you’re my date. Everyone brings a date to events and not all of them are in the industry.” Harry reassures him while knotting his tie in the mirror. “You just need to look pretty and make me seem like a champ for bagging someone so gorgeous.”

“Because that doesn’t objectify me at all.” Harry can see his eyebrow raise in the mirror and laughs.

“It’ll be fine.” Harry finishes his tie and walks to stand in front of his boy. “It’s three hours max of schmoozing then we can come home and cuddle.”

“Cuddle?”

“Yes, cuddle.” Harry replies with nonchalance. “Maybe even spoon a little.”

“What kind of girl do you take me for, Styles?” Louis fake gasps and clutches his chest in mock offence.

“A very naughty one.”

Louis just laughs at him before standing up to peck Harry’s cheek and grab his jacket so that they can leave on time.

In the car, Harry’s holding onto Louis’ hand between the console and humming as the light traffic trickles by through the windows.

“You look amazing by the way.” Harry comments, shooting Louis a glance. “I can’t believe what braces can do to someone’s behind.”

“Charming.” Louis rolls his eyes with a smile. “This is my Jack from Titanic look.”

“Makes perfect sense since young Leo was an insatiable twink.”

Louis squawks and swats Harry’s arm as they pull into parking.

The inside of the venue is suitable for the event, its decor understated and tasteful. There are round tables seating six near the walls with space in the centre for mingling. It seems like they’re leading with a sit down dinner before some light entertainment and general socialising.

When the dishes are served up, the food is good and they come with even better wine. Harry is relieved to be seated with people he actually likes and he’s mindful to include Louis in conversations. The boy seems to be holding his own and by the end of the meal, the whole table is utterly charmed by him.

It’s later on that they split apart for a moment, Louis wanting to talk more with the people on their table and Harry needing to work the room. He’s currently stood with a couple of the old, stuffy men he doesn’t particular enjoy the company of but, because of their position in London’s art community, he has to be polite with.

“Yes, yes, I think a gallery would be great, son. I’ve always said you have a good eye and if you keep up what you’ve been doing at that company, it’ll be a success.” Marlon, one of the men, says.

“Thank you, I look forward to its opening.” Harry smiles tightly.

“Have you seen who is here tonight, Marlon?” another man pipes up, obviously rounding the conversation about Harry’s gallery to an end.

“Who’d that be then, Joe?” Marlon replies, taking a sip of his drink.

Harry needs to just wait for a lull to excuse himself from this already dragging conversation.

“Your old flame.” the man, Joe, answers gesturing towards Louis standing a few meters away.

Harry’s whole body freezes.

“Now, now. You know I don’t talk about that stuff out here.” Marlon cooly glances over then back to the group. “I do wonder, though, what poor soul he’s swindling dry now.”

“Come on, Marl, he wasn’t your most pricey, shall we say, hobby.” Both men laugh and Harry feels sick.

“Yes, you’re right, I do love vintage cars as a matter of fact.”

Harry honestly feels like the ground has turned into jelly. He can’t even voice his excuse and merely walks away as steadily as he can. He makes it to the hallway outside the room and drags his tie outwards to loosen it’s tight hold around his neck. Everything feels overwhelming and confusing. What were they talking about? There’s no way that Louis had dated that man, is there? Marlon is definitely way too old, definitely over fifty. And how long ago did this happen?

A thousand questions swim in Harry’s mind about Louis and who he is. He’s never once mentioned an ex boyfriend, let alone a man so much older. What type of person would date such an older person when they’re at university age?

Harry knows what type of person but, God, he doesn’t want to believe it.

“Harry?” a gentle voice calls out. “Love, are you okay?”

Louis walks up to him and clasps his hands over Harry’s face, looking at him with concern.

“You don’t look so good. Do you want to go home?”

Home. Louis is referring to Harry’s house as ‘home’. Because Harry was stupid enough to let this boy into his home and given him free rein over anything without asking a single question because he’s pretty and showed interest.

“Alright, sweetheart, let’s just go. You can tell me later.” Louis takes Harry’s hand and leads him outside into the cool air. He talks to the valet to get the car and they wait for it to come round. “You want me to drive?”

Harry snaps out of it in the moment.

“No,” he coughs. “No, sorry, I just uh, think the whiskey hit me wrong back there. Sorry, I’m good. It was only a glass. I’ll drive.”

Louis seems to believe him and squeezes his hand in comfort. Harry pulls it away when the car appears and climbs into the driver’s seat.

On the drive back, Louis is chattering away since Harry is now pretending that he’s fine. He tells him about the people he spoke to, how some woman is actually a lecturer at his university, how he bumped into someone he met at Zayn’s showcase last year.

When they’re in the house, Harry is still feeling weird. It’s just them tonight because Lily is with his mum in Holmes Chapel and the place seems big for some reason. They climb the stairs to the bedroom where Harry kind of just sits on the bed, watching Louis talk and undress. The boy clocks his staring and smirks, interpreting it to mean something else.

“Like what you see?” He’s only in his boxers now, stepping into Harry’s space.  
He initiates sex and Harry goes along with it. Maybe it’s fucked up but he’s a little bit angry and it feels good to get slightly rough. That’s what Louis likes, though, and he’s practically biting the sheets as Harry slams into him from behind.

“Oh, fuck, Harry!” he’s moaning. “Right there. You fuck me so good, fuck.”

“Yeah?” Harry grunts, a little passive aggressively. “You sure about that?”

“Yes!” Louis replies wantonly. “Always so good, babe.”

“Anybody else ever give it to you like this?” Harry can’t help himself, overtaken by the confusing anger as he keeps thrusting.

“No, only you.”

Harry wants to laugh, shout ‘oh, really?’, maybe call him a liar for some reason.

He doesn’t and they finish after he goes in hard to bring them to their climax.

Louis cuddles up to him afterwards, chastely kissing all over his chest and snuffling into his neck before he doses off, paying no mind to the soiled sheets. Harry, on the other hand, lays awake for a long time. He watches the moonlight paint the upturned side of Louis’ face and overthinks to the brink of madness. His last thought is the real thought that’s been there the whole time underneath all that crap he tried to hide behind; he’s scared to death that the revelation tonight means he’s going to lose Louis.

-

The next morning, Harry absolutely cannot hold it in anymore.

“Who’s Marlon?”

They’ve been awake for a small while now, laying in bed listening to the birds and stroking each other’s arms like they do most weekend mornings. Except things aren’t normal today and Harry can’t pretend like they are.

“What?” Louis tenses rigidly in his arms.

“I mean, I know who he is, I want to know who he is to you.” Harry says plainly.

“I- what- what do you mean?” Louis stutters.

Harry sighs then disentangles himself to sit up.

“I spoke with him last night and he basically said that you used to be together.” Harry tells him.

“What?” Louis whispers in disbelief, sitting up too.

“I know you had some sort of relationship with him. Now you need to tell me exactly what that relationship was and don’t lie to me.” Harry can’t even look at him right now.

“Harry, please, it’s not what you think.” Louis utters possibly the most cliche line ever.

“Really?” Harry turns to shoot him a sharp look. “Because I think that you have a penchant for older, wealthy men, and you’re happy to let them pay you to do God knows what with them.”

Louis looks like he’s close to tears.

“It wasn’t like that, Harry.” Louis pleads.

“Then what was it like?” Harry fires back. “What is this? I don’t wanna seem like an arrogant prick but I have money and I could easily fit into that category so, what? Am I one of these washed up idiots who you pretend to like then laugh at with your friends behind my back?”

“No!” Louis is quick to protest. “Oh God, no, Harry! No fucking way is that true.”

“Then what is?”

Louis sighs, looking down at the twisting fingers in his lap.

“Okay, I haven’t been totally honest with you about my first year.” Louis starts.

Harry says nothing and lets him carry on and tell the whole story.

“Yes, I did work at a coffee shop but I only did that for a few months when I first moved to London. An older guy started becoming a regular, Marlon, and he took an interest in me. I know it seems weird and I was probably stupid but he seemed genuinely nice. He wanted to take me out and I was skeptical but he insisted and we had a good time. So we started seeing each other. I knew he was well off but that didn’t really affect anything except when he insisted on paying for everything. When he noticed that the coffee shop was shit in terms of hours and pay and how much I struggled with uni work, he offered to pay my fees and rent so I could quit. I was seeing him anyway and I convinced myself that there was no harm in it.”

“So, what, he was your sugar daddy?” Harry asks.

“I don’t know, maybe. I did realise that it was more of an arrangement than a relationship. When I quit and he took care of my bills, I was at his beck and call because he basically said that any time I would’ve been working, I could spend with him. Every time I was with him, I’d get a gift delivered the next day. It was fine and I was comfortable with it all; it seemed like we had good boundaries. He never expected me to be in love with him or anything and we clearly knew what it was.”

“Okay.” Harry finds it a little hard to process. “Was it, um, intimate?”

Louis squirms.

“Sort of. Not often.” he admits.

“So, what, it ended and that’s why you needed a new job this year?” Harry urges him to continue.

“Right, you have to believe me when I tell you the next part.” Louis begins, slightly nervous. “We’d been seeing each other for a few months at this point and I had no idea. But I saw him with a woman and two kids at a restaurant one night. When I confronted him, he confessed that he was married. I was livid and I asked him what the hell he was thinking. He was calm about it all and acted like it wasn’t a big deal. To me, it was, because I was not intending to be a home wrecker or a side piece. He made me feel like I was a hypocrite or fooling myself because our arrangement’s nature wasn’t exactly morally sound. That’s when it all hit me in one big wave and I felt, I don’t know, dirty and cheap. It wasn’t a good feeling. So I ended everything, blocked all contact and returned every gift and told my bank to stop letting him wire me money.”

At the end of the story, they sit there in silence and Harry attempts to take it all in.  
“Harry,” Louis shifts so that he’s in front of him, reaching out to take his hands. “That is in the past. I was stupid and naive and I wanted easy money. Except it wasn’t easy. I don’t know. But it’s over now.”

Harry has no idea how to feel. What’s the proper way to react when your boyfriend tells you that he used to have a sugar daddy who was married?

“Honey, please, tell me you believe me.” Louis begs.

“I do.” Harry eventually answers to which Louis sighs in relief.

“I want to move past it, be with you properly.” Louis tells him.

“I just-“ Harry cast his eyes downward. “I think I need some time, if you don’t mind.”

Louis looks devastated and Harry can’t bear it. But he needs space to think and figure out how to move forward. He hopes that’s reasonable.

“Okay, yeah.” Louis says after it seems like Harry meant it.

He gathers his things then leaves.

-

For the next two weeks or so, Harry either subconsciously or consciously blanks Louis. It’s not as if he’s going out of his way to do it since Louis seems to actually respect his request for space and hasn’t been incessantly on his case to make up his mind. Which is another thing; what is Harry suppose to be deciding here?

He wants so badly to follow some sort of gut instinct that tells him he knows Louis and he can trust him, that he’s a good person to be with. It feels wrong to question Louis like this. Nobody should be scrutinised for past mistakes, least of all someone so sweet and loving.

And now, Harry is curled up on his sofa watching Dirty Dancing and craving Louis’ presence in the empty space beside him. He can picture how the younger would commentate, make snarky comments about the cheesy tropes, then quiet down when the characters fall in love because he’s a mushy romantic like Harry at heart.

Suddenly the doorbell rings and Harry groans internally because he hates people coming round without prior notice, especially when he’s trying to mope.

“What are you doing here, Liam?” Harry frowns when he opens the front door.

“Cheers, nice to see you too.” Liam rolls his eyes then pushes past to get into the house.

Harry noticed that he’s got a big tupperware box in his hands so he allows it because he knows there’s a paella in there and he’s hungry.

“Is there a problem with work?” Harry asks, shutting the door and following Liam into the living room where he’s made himself comfortable on the sofa.

“Nope, believe or not we’re friends and friends hang out outside of work sometimes.” Liam replies.

Harry rolls his eyes then sits down.

“What’s wrong, man?” Liam turns to ask him in a serious tone.

“Why does there have to be something wrong?” Harry stares at Patrick Swayze sweating up a storm while he dances.

“Well, for one, you’re watching Dirty Dancing.”

“It was on telly when I flicked through.” Harry sniffs.

Liam makes a point of glancing at the DVD case on the coffee table then back at Harry.

“Whatever, I just wanted to watch a movie.” Harry says defensively.

“Fucking hell, Harry. I’m giving you the opportunity to rant here, take it.” Liam exclaims.

Harry stays silent for a while longer, eyes on the screen but not really watching what’s unfolding. And fuck it, Liam’s right, he needs to get all this crap off his chest.

So he tells Liam the whole sordid story. He finally tells him about Louis and the way they got together and their budding relationship up until it all went to shit last week. He talks about how Louis helped him just by being himself and the way they could talk to each other so easily and freely. He even mentions the great sex, how that and so many other things make up the fun side of being together in contrast with the domestic, serious side that makes Harry think they could really have a future together.

But then obviously he has to divulge the revelation and how it triggered all his fears and uncertainty. It’s tough but Harry manages to voice his insecurities about all this power he’s given to Louis to have over him and how he didn’t even realise he had done it until it was too late. Now he’s in love with this boy who might not even be the person Harry thought he was.

“Jesus.” Liam reacts to it all by running a hand through his hair and leaning back to take it in. “So, what, you think he’s trying to get money from you or something?”

“No.” Harry denies apprehensively. “I mean, I don’t know. He wouldn’t, would he? The Louis I thought I knew would never use me or anyone like that. But then he did with this other guy.”

“That’s totally different, though.” Liam says. “He didn’t love this other guy and he didn’t ask for anything, it was just offered to him.”

“And that makes it okay?” Harry snorts.

“Well from what I’ve heard, you love each other and he doesn’t seem to care about your money whereas this other guy convinced him to be part of a fair deal.” Liam shrugs, as if it’s that easy.

“Oh for fucksake, Liam, I gave him a bloody Lexus and I put him down as part owner of the gallery. I was gonna ask him to move in here.” Harry pauses. “And I bought a £10,000 ring.”

“What?” Liam’s thick eyebrows shoot up. “You were going to ask him to marry you?”

“No, fuck, no.” Harry shakes his head. “It was a gift, like a gesture or something.”

“Right.” Liam seems to calm down slightly. “Who cares, though? You did all that, he didn’t ask you for it.”

“Maybe this whole thing is a sign. See, I’ve been wondering if our whole relationship is even as meaningful as I believed it to be so maybe this is a heavy hint that I’ve been blinded by my desperation for something good to happen after all the shit I went through.” Harry rambles.

“Maybe,” Liam starts. “But can I be honest with you, mate? I’ve known you for like a million years and you’ve never given this much thought to any guy before. Doesn’t that say something?”

It could. Harry doesn’t know.

“You brought paella, right?” Harry turns away to look at the tupperware.

“Yeah.” Liam sighs.

“Good, m’starving.”

They eat and watch the rest of Dirty Dancing and Harry actually does feel significantly better than he did before.

-

The next visitor to come unannounced is Louis. Harry finds him on his doorstep looking crestfallen in a burnt orange jumper and he can’t not let him in the house.

“Please tell me you’ve forgiven me.” Louis says quietly when he’s barely inside.

“Lou,” Harry pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I can’t stand this, please, H. I miss you so much.” Louis babbles, blinking his big blue eyes up at Harry. “I can’t sleep at night because I need to know you’re within reach.”

“Baby,” It breaks Harry’s heart to hear that and he brings a hand up to cup Louis’ face which immediately gets nuzzled into. “I miss you too.”

Louis leans up and catches Harry’s mouth with his own. He kisses him tenderly but at the same time, like he’s been starved off it. It feels so good and Louis tastes so sweet, making Harry’s head spin with every breathy noise he emits.

When they pull apart, Harry doesn’t want to ruin things with words so he pulls Louis up the stairs. They slip under the covers in bed fully clothed and Harry scoops Louis right into his chest so that no gap goes unfilled and he breathes in the homey scent embedded in the sensitive spot behind Louis’ soft little earlobes. Every single thought melts away after the first second in their settled position and they doze off into heavy sleep at 6:30pm.

-

When morning comes, Harry feeds Louis some toast and jam with Yorkshire tea in a big pug shaped mug. They remain quiet but it’s not bad. After they brush their teeth, Harry bundles Louis into his Packers hoodie and decides to go on a walk along the huge fields nearby.

They’re walking and neither of them actually checked the time during any point so they’re examining the sunlight with curiosity. It’s blindingly golden and blends in with the yellow grounds stretching on behind the wooden fence that guides their footpath. Two silhouetted dots of a man and his dog are the only blemish in an otherwise unmarred landscape.

“Louis, when you came into my life, it was a state. And I’m not saying you fixed it all up but you made things a bit brighter and well, when everything was so low, that made all the difference, trust me.” Harry dives straight in because he’s tired. “Jemma’s death was the first time in my life where I realised just how breakable I am and it’s made me scared as hell of anything bad happening. Losing you, the you that I fell for, would be, like, up there with one of the worst bad things I can imagine.”

Harry is the least eloquent person and that probably took a year to get out but at least it’s out.

“Then don’t lose me.” Louis replies. “Harry, I know what you found out gives you reason to be worried about my intentions or something like that. I don't blame you; it’s like human nature to believe history repeats itself or a leopard never changes its spots. But I- it’s hard for me to even compare you and Marlon because it’s so so different. What happened with him was a whole separate, crazy, I don’t know, glitch in my life. With you, Harry, with you it feels right. I love you.”

Harry stops walking to stare at Louis. Sun rays are bringing the gold flecks in his eyes up to swim on the blue surface and Harry is stuck in motion looking at them.

“You mean that?” he asks, voice scratchy.

“Yes, I do. I love you, Harry, and if you love me then let’s put this behind us and move on.” Louis says with conviction.

“Of course I love you.” Harry says back.

Louis grins widely at that.

“That’s one down.”

Harry takes a deep breath.

“It’s history. That means it’s behind us.” Harry decides.

The crinkles around Louis’ eyes deepen.

“And I was thinking, uh,” Harry clears his throat. “If you’d want to come to my gallery opening next week. As my date.”

Louis throws his arms around Harry’s neck and teeters up on his tiptoes.

“I want. So much.”

Harry smiles enough that his dimples are as deep as they go and he feels warmth in his gut, like the instinct he’s been waiting to kick in and follow, only it’s telling to trust and love Louis with all he’s got.

-

The day Louis moves in is hectic.

Harry has Lily because Carl decided to flake last minute and while he’s always happy to be with his niece, a toddler is the last thing he needs when his house is being invaded by an avalanche of cardboard boxes. On top of that, Louis is grumpy as ever because he had to wake up at the crack of dawn to greet the delivery men and oversee them loading the trucks. Basically, everything is a mess and he’s got two unhappy babies to take care of.

“Why are they being so careless with everything?” Louis nearly screams. “It’s not like it’s my entire fucking life they chucking about.”

“Sweetie, please relax. Nothing broke and I’ll reduce their tip, okay?” Harry strokes his shoulders and plants a kiss on the top of his head.

“No, don’t do that. S’not fair.” Louis grumbles.

“You’re too lovely, you know that?” Harry smiles.

“Gross.” Louis rolls his eyes.

“Look, they’re bringing in the last of it now so why don’t you have a lie down? I can tell you didn’t get much sleep.” Harry suggests.

Louis continues pouting like an angry kitten but he silently agrees then patters up the stairs to take a nap.

Once he leaves the room, Harry grimaces at the sight of his home in disarray. He helps guide the men back in with what was left in the van and pays them before sending them away. After that, he reckons he has a few hours left before Lily wakes up so he gets to work unpacking and getting rid of all the packaging Louis’ stuff came in.

When he hears Lily stirring through the monitor, he looks around and is actually satisfied with the large dent he made in sorting through and putting away. The only things left are school stuff that has to be kept aside while Harry converts one of the spare rooms into an office for Louis.

After he helps Lily through her morning routine, he carries her downstairs and decides to cook a big fry up ready for Louis when he wakes up. He lets Lily help him as much as possible but to be honest, she’s the worst egg cracker in the world and unless they’re interested in eating shell, her contribution is not great. But she seems to be enjoying herself so Harry indulges her and acts like she’s practically a Michelin chef to which she laughs along with happily.

He’s flipping bacon over the stove with Lily balanced on his hip when Louis comes shuffling in, wearing Harry’s sweats, fresh from his nap. Harry’s eyes are trained on the sizzling streaks but he smiles when he feels Louis’ arms wrap him into a hug from behind.

“I love you, Harry Styles, you know that?”

Louis’ breath is warm through the thin shirt on his back, his tiny bare feet are cold against where they press against his ankles and Harry can’t help but know.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope the resolution was decent, I struggled with it somewhat but it seems right to me. Please come talk to me on tumblr at darlou if you want, especially about fics.
> 
> As a side note, my Friends series is still going strong in my plans and if you're curious about it then feel free to ask questions.
> 
> If you enjoyed this, I'd appreciate it so much if you reblog/like my [fic post](http://darlou.tumblr.com/post/171391107833/honey-make-this-easy-he-knows-the-site-that), thank youuu xx


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